A'Levels drama

A'LEVELS DRAMA...
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Yes Neena! We have the common room... Why? Cos Pancha the cow got sacked! Yay! Yay! And Dr. Rizal is sooooo baik! Much respect for the short guy!
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Anywhoo... my dad just spoke to the short guy regarding my college-ing and it turns out i'm gonna finish doing my biology and chemistry and do business studies for the third A'levs... haish... guess im definitely doing law in the uni. But score on the successful droppage of math! hahahaha!!! joy!
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Onwards to the common room and pet project "photoshoot".
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Common Room:
~tile the floor
~repaint the room in a new and more decent looking coat of black
~add the hight bars for the photoshoot
~furnish the interior
~close up the window cracks with greeting cards
~stick up bullshit posters
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Photoshoot:
~have a meeting for the aliases and funny quotes
~print out the criminal bars
~get the barcodes done
~get the lighting fixed
~buy poster paint
~discuss props
~make-up scheme
~hair gel?
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A quote from me:
If i came up with the shizzit, then i'm gonna follow up with some damn good shizzit.

the four fours

THE FOUR FOURS...
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So, It's tuesday... after a gruelling session of Chemistry. I got Dr. Rizal to tell his henchmen to do the background paint job for the photoshoot in the common room and he said that it should be a permanent for the room... I thought "Yay!" And the furniture in the common room is not that bad... but its not that grand either so the verdict: The college is not THAT useless. We're getting the pool table cos everyone did kickass in the exams and a fridge so we can stuff tubs of Ben & Jerry's ice cream and hide vodka in mineral water bottles and JD in apple juice canisters and have all the teachers get drunk after drinking fake juice and water and excuse themselves from class... My batch RULES!
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I asked someone out and 5 minutes later i realised that we are two different species of monkeys and exams were very very very near... no time for stupid hook-ups... haish...
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I fell and hit my head on the side of the door... My head hurts but instead of lying down in agony i stare at the screen in contentment. I still have to finish the chemistry practicals thingy thing... borrowed the paper off Mark. I hope there's no thinking skills (thinking kills) because i wanna do up the common room ASAP. So much to do... so little time and money!
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Something my pet squirrel said which is so comel:
me's been studying
but exam still far far
study make exam look farer
but when no study
exam look near near
so crap one how the whole system works
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Sounds like a song... hahahahah!!! I should study to make the exam look far far... but i like to play and so the exam looks near near. I hate exams! huaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!

Vocabularistupification

VOCABULARISTUPIFICATION.
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I just realised how dull my life would be without all the words that i use... intelligent, obscene, vulgar, non-intellectual, smartassed, snide and quick... not to mention (appropriately) funny!
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So, i'm here preparing a week before the big photoshoot for the college's pet project. Yesh, we are shoosting and we are the models... Props are questionable. Shall have to have a meeting with the council tomorrow at lunch and another one with the good doctor (Datin's Son laa) at, well... not exactly sure about when that'd be...
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The former to discuss the shoosting and the latter to discuss what im gonna do with my life til i fuck off and die... yes... Aishah has to go for councelling... study councelling... because my results weren't that great... i dispise/loathe/abhor exams now and forever more.
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The photoshoot will include mugshots, avantguarde, GQ, Vogue, Galaxy (no matter how tacky it is) and some questionable fun shots such as some proper perfume model shots... nastayyy! Oh yea, and if there is extra time... Manja shots for all! hahahahaha!!!
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And when i get home, it's fun with adobe modifications! HA!
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Okay, definite that i have shown great interest towards this one guy, and definitely i think too much about the nons and wee's of the relationship (FRIENDS! FRIENDS! I SHALL NOT THINK FURTHER! i think... *grins*) but, it is time i oodled up social prejudice and re-consider human flaws and bite his macho arse! Starting with a little peck on the cheek... haha! Just the other day i was talking to a friend about my love for bravado and the fact that i use it alot. (bravado - attempt of one to show bravery in words.)
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Here's some exaamples of bravado and non-bravados that i've thought up...
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bravado: if you drop my apple, i'll kick you
(i can't kick to save my life)
not bravado: come here and i'll smack you with my book
(i actually do even smack people with large slappity things for FUN!)
bravado: shut up or ill bite you
(there's nothing i can do if you don't wanna shut up... i'm not your mother)
not bravado: i'll bite you if you look at me cutesy again
(if you wanna look cutesy, i will think it's cute and bite you for it)
bravado: i swear i'm gonna shoot you
(i can't shoot you, even if i did, it wont hurt... i have no gun)
not bravado: i'll pinch you
(run and hide!)
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Soo... members of the male society. What would you do if a lady asked you out in a civil manner and how (if that would be the case) would you turn her down and not have her bite your head off.
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Oh! And from Monday onwards: I shall turn into a loser, study like a righteous nerd and have no social life. Or at least that's what my intention is *gawk at the words "no social life" for a few minutes* O-shitticisms! No social life! How cruel is the british system! Waaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

feck

FECK!
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Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck! Feck!
A'Levs results came out today and they made me wait for bad ones... haish... serves me right to go into an improper college... with bad teachers... and being lazy.
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Prissy after the results and had Mark get me an ice-cream sundae from McDonalds... and watched Memoirs of A Geisha... must see... im proud of Michelle Yeoh...
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You must also watch Pride and Prejudice to improve your english.
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A result of my resolutions... (feck you!)
New years' resolutions:
1. Get fit (on it)
2. Go into Nottingham Uni (pondering much)
3. Don't agitate parental units too much (fail)
4. Study more (trying)
5. Play less (nehhehheh... heh...)
6. Practice guitar more often and be super good by the end of the year (on it!)
7. Save money (FAIL! BROKE ADY!)
8. Podcast (pending)
9. Sign up for OKU and reap most excellent benifits (uhh... up to parental units)
10. Less indulgment on contentment (wtf?! I still don't know why i wrote this)
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That is all.

i found my present!

I FOUND MY PRESENT!
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Yes I did! And it happens to be *gasp and drumroll* a GUY! But i don't really know what's going on with us though... Confusing much now... But i'm most sure that we're friends. I'm not into the whole "i love you" gig cos i dont believe in love so i was thinking much on "special" friends geddit? lol!
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By the way, It's now just after "that" time of month so yea, according to scientific research: Ovulating. Hahahahahahaha!!! Oh yea, you know what that means! So i was chatting on msn with my friend yesterday yea and it was ass funny! Here's the conversation:
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Anyways, so it starts with me eplaining the days events to a friend of mine and it leads to...
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Guy Friend: haha... "funny" dreams
Me: yes, very "funny" dreams
Me: interestingly "funny" cos i wake up and im all like wtf? i can DO that?
Guy Friend: then woke up to find tht there was "wet weather" down south
Me: hahaha, yeaaaaaaa... not that wet
Guy Friend: did u tell him abt the "funny" dream?
Me: noooooooooooooo! are you nuts?
Guy Friend: haha good
Me: thats suicide!
Guy Friend: well if u did u both probably could be "funny" buddies
Me: i was thinkin of that... he's very fit
Guy Friend: and u'd end up in a "funny" situation... ahahahahahahaa
Me: but he doesnt do that, hahahahaha... funny lah you no inverted commas
Guy Friend: haha heyyy i can be "funny" too, i enjoy gettng "funny" just as the next person
Me: hahaha... but only with you designated "joker" kan?
Guy Friend: hahhaa yeaa or i could be "funny" with myself while watching "america's funniest home videos"
Me: ooo... thats "funny" shit man...
Guy Friend: haha yeaaa damn "funny". keeps me "happy"
Me: oh yea, another thing about smalam was we passed this shop called "oh sushi" and you know what i said?
Guy Friend: you noticed he was "happy" by the look of his pants? uhhuh
Me: "hey cool, orgasmic induced name!"
Guy Friend: ahahahaha
Me: so the whhole time we was talking about straws, forks and oh sushi
hahahahaha
Guy Friend: im imagining the person was using sushi in pretty "funny" ways
Me: most fun
Guy Friend: unagi
Me: very "funny"
Guy Friend: probably was induced by unagi
Me: hahah unagi you say? might be right its damn eel-ish and long ya? Hahahahahahahhaah "funny" animal
Guy Friend: hahahaha but i dont need unagi tho i have my own "unagi" to keep ppl "happy"
Me: rite you do! dunno about antonio* tho i have problems with his unagi
cos its very tensioning... and its in my ddreams
Guy Friend: its very tensioning? whts wrong with his unagi?
Me: well
Guy Friend: doesnt want to swim in the right direction?
Me: nothings wrong with it its just in he real "funny" situations nothing lyddat happens so dissapaointing
Guy Friend: disappointing?
Me: cos he plenty stamina for "jokes" and real i mean real life
Guy Friend: how do you know he has high stamina? he tells u abt his "funny" life?
Me: he's very saporty and does breakdancing too nono gila wanna tell me his "funny" life
Guy Friend: haha well.. depends rite...
Me: he didnt even tell me if he passed first base yet lol
Guy Friend: how long does it take u to get "maximum happiness" usually?
Me: i dunnooo... seriously... never tried
Guy Friend: i mean.. self induced
Me: *grins*
Guy Friend: maximum happiness
Me: for me to know... you must never know my jokes i keep to myself
"jokes"
Guy Friend: hahaha okaaaaaay "jokes" must share with friends what but anywayz.. he high stamina also, depends on how long it takes you rite if you are fast... dwayne* also can
Me: hahahahahahaha HAHAHAHAHA!!! ooo... really?
Guy Friend: u should only look for high stamina if u are slow buuuuuuut what is more important...
Me: is that a bad thing?
Guy Friend: is his "creativity" in "making jokes"
Me: seriously im so dumb at this making "jokes" ... dunno i shall never know i guess
Guy Friend: haha yeaa but i guess since he is flexible and all
Me: but in my dreams his "jokes" are really "funny"
Guy Friend: he can get into pretty good... "joke telling positions"
Me: ooo... you are making me feel quite "happy" thinking about this
Guy Friend: haha.. im pretty "happy" too myself if we go on we'd probably hv to "tell jokes to ourselves" later hahahahahahaa
Me: "joke telling positions" but i wont go that far lah...
Guy Friend: sure u wont... but hey, no harm to dreeaaaaaaaam abt them
Me: personal question if you dont mind
Guy Friend: ok sure
Me: you and your chic... any jokes shared? major "jokes"
Guy Friend: hmm... well... the current one.. everything except that my unagi dint get to swim into any deep damp caves sadly
Me: okay
Guy Friend: unless u count upstairs to be a cave
Me: its not sad
Guy Friend: hahahaha
Me: patients is a virtue
Guy Friend: sad for my unagi hahahaa well yea
Me: i have plenty much patients
Guy Friend: but its quite hard tho.. if previously u have been telling heavy jokes at least 3 times a week for the past 2 years
Me: malas wanna cari boy
Guy Friend: and suddenly.. death... no more jokes
Me: poor you!!!!
must be sad... very sad...
Guy Friend: yeaaaaaaaaa... but even so.. i'd rather die than pay for jokes
Me: yes! i agree
Guy Friend: why pay when u can get it for free
Me: jokes shouldnt be payed for...
Guy Friend: hahaha
Me: jokes should be given freely... ehehehehehhe
Guy Friend: haha the more the merrier :P
Me: ooo i dunno about that i like one on one jokes more
Guy Friend: before i die, i wanna try telling jokes to two ppl at once atleast once
Me: no shit? Wow big audience can you handle the laughs though?
or have enough jokes
Guy Friend: but other thn tht... my unagi has season parking in one parking bay only
ooo im pretty sure
Me: and the parking bay payed in full ady cannot forfeit or share
Guy Friend: hahaha
Me: no such thing
Guy Friend: but it'll be nice to try double parking at least once tho haha
Me: double parking hahahah you gotta find the right place laa
Guy Friend: haha kaaay my unagi getting excited already hahaha
Me: hahaha chill laa hahahaha, you know our "TALK" very decent kan? small ppl tak fahm
Guy Friend: hahahaha, yeaaaaaaaaaaaa

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And here is my favourite article for the first trimester, you must read it!
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,1056-1988765,00.html
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Good night all... *grins*

The Facts Of Stuff.

THE FACTS OF STUFF.
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I just watched The Stepford Wives for the second time and sure enough, as i've realised, the most powerful women have backup in the shape of meek-computer-hugging-domestic-steadfast-polo-shirt-donning men. Geeks always get the powerful god-like chics. Which explains the mutual attraction towards such guys. It's most lovely to have someone to boss around. Now lets go look for my backup tech-geek!
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Furthermore, i sing very nicely you know, i'm just not bothered to go jam with the boys. I have a very nice lead female vocal rock band voice going on there!!! After watching how badly most people did on Blast Off, i realised the odds of me making it big is very small (which means i'm hella good). Short memo on how my cousin's "vocal group" (idiosyncrasy) did: Very very very badly. no cohesion, no harmony, no lead voice, music not broken up nicely and they weren't very uniform. I shook my head in dispair as my prediction came true. I said they were gonna get kicked out on the second round. Damn my instinctual criticism.
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On a non-factual note: i like pink, i like fluffies, i like pop and im super model from las vegas who doubles up as a yellow tutu wearing wiccan who practices law on her free time. Like i said, NON-FACTUAL. Hahahahaha!!!
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Watching Bugs and Daffy kicks ass! And i'm supposed to be studying my chem notes. Hmmm... *ponders much* ... I was elected Event Manager in the Student Union... And being me, i almost alwasy run the show, but must abide with presidential concent overruling which with googoo eyes. My president is such a pushover... *gasp* Have we found my backup tech-geek? Sadly no... although i must say that i've had some few interesting dreams about... bad me!! Bad me!!! Haha! I rule!
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I should stop now... too much info let out... Squirrel! Now you know! hahahaha!!!

Why?

WHY?
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Yes, why. It's one of the most wonderful words in the world (aside from what, where and how) that human-kind had made to annoy smart people. We, the ones who are inquisitive in nature, just love to use those words for the most beautifully mundane reasons and in a way that we only utter that one little word.
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Such a way the word may be used is when a teacher decides to stumble upon yet another topic in math class so obscene you've never even heard of it... After listening to a through explanation on how something equals to something else and may have a square root or cube root which is ambivilent to the sin or cosine of the number squared by the cotangent in the direct vacinity of saturn and its moons, you may poke your hand up in the air, stare into her face in a blank motion and ask "why?". The consequence of asking such would result in again a repeated thorough explanation about the said equation and on persuing same word may directly cause an uproar in the ethics of teachers being thrown out the window.
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In such a case where not only had ethics been thrown out the window but with it the very persistant student as well, do not blame it on the person who got flung out but the teacher who cannot take a joke. She/ He (said teacher) now owes you a teh-tarik and roti canai from the local mamak stall regardless of her opinion because you just got flung out of the window of the second floor and had sustained a minor injury. Thank god you're not dead. But now, you can have the whole semester flinging guilt trips on your teacher and dso not have to do another assignment til a new teacher comes along.
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Note that this method had already been tried but noone has yet to be flung out of the window on the second floor. The only thing happened was said student took a flying duck to avoid a flying fuckin duster from hitting said face and is only suitable for students with a deathwish and a strong stomach. Not recommended for the faint hearted and straight A students (die bitch!).
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Okay, ENOUGH OF THE BIG BULLSHIT OF THE DAY... I went fourth to grandma's house and saw 5 most adorable kittens! My aunt is breeding pure bred ruddy Abbysinians (her cattery is called Mas Merah) and will be for sale in about 3 months at which they'll be weaned from they're mother and wont give a flying fuck if you dont have milk. They'll be selling around 2.5 to 4 K ringgit each (mind you, they're pure bred). Here's a litter picha for you...
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Mommy cat with babies
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Just the babies
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As you can see... they haven't yet grown into they're ears, and they're tails are like cicak tails but they're so cute!!! I pet names one "the sausage" (perverted people out there STAY AWAY!!!) like little furry sausages... hahahahaha!!!
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P/S: They look kinda like mice too... hwaaaaaahahahaha!!!
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Okay, thats it for today... Most boredly yours, Phat Sha.

Happy new year...

HAPPY NEW YEAR?
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The year started out nice... parties... the most hated teacher in my college leaving... and then it got worse as my bio teacher left as well, the physics teacher left, 5 months of hard work peeping in the corner ready and willing to pounce an my good china and A'Level results gnawing on my subcontious mind... What if i fail? Huaaaaaaaargh! One more good thing is that I'm substituting A2 Math with AS Law... first class was chunnn!!!
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First week back in college sucked ass... a felt like shit walking up and down the hallway contemplating the horror that was chemistry classes, and head bobbing bio substitute teachers. Mabs and Sel still think that Mr. Tahn is such a darling... *grunts* so not...
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Michelle is on the way back to UK now... She left at 11 am (KL time) and is now snoozing on a MAS flight to one of the British airports... We shall see her next she come back, which would be in June. Yay! Summer!
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Note again: 5 more months till A'Levs finishes... Faitit laa...!!! Yerr, exam very ma-fan one... (chinese accent after chem brain blockage and cos' Mrs. Wong said soemthing like that)
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Mark wore the belt i gave him for his b'day today, Kyna wore the top i gave her for her b'day yesterday... im so proud of them... and me for having damn good taste! Hahahahaha... Self inflicted horror of Absorbisms...
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I have to go load some stuff from my camera now... Cheers and a Happy New Year!