Saturday, December 31, 2016

Hello 2017

It's the turn of a new year and thank goodness for that. I'm done with 2016.

It wasn't a bad year for me (that was 2015) but it was for a lot of other people. For me, it was a year of preparing and planning. I did a lot of things in my personal projects folder and a few things in my actual paid work folder and I feel like it was okay.

Technically, being human, nothing is good enough so I think a set baseline of 'Just Okay' is... well... Just okay-ish.

"Forget about good. Good is a known quantity.
Good is what we all agree on.
Growth is not necessarily good.
Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you’ll never have real growth."
- Bruce Mau, An Incomplete Manifesto For Growth

Life isn't just about just-okays though. It's a continued exercise in self betterment.
I also realised I'm a potato Versatilist which is a less fancy and more approachable term for a Polymath. It also means I have interest ADHD.

It's been a long time since I had stayed in for New Year's Eve so this time it'll be an exercise in making a big, yearly to-do list.

The year ended with Brunch with a group of intellectuals. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we spoke, we swore.
The year ended with Thoughts as I read through articles that resonated with what was spoken with the intellectuals.
The year ended with Plans as I siphoned through my ideas and musings, as I remember how much I have missed cranial activity.
This year ended with realising that 2016 was a year of the body, the search for numbness..
This year is salvaged by me recognising the needs of my intellect first, my needs as a human being second, and the needs of humanity being third.
Next year will start as years start
Unabashedly, with wide eyes and bushy tails.
Next year will start.

In closing, the woman I want to be like is my grand aunt. She's Bawse.
You can read about her HERE

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Soooooooooo Inspirationaaaal...

Nak marah jap. Prepare your eyes for capslock swearing.
I warned you.

I hate inspiration porn when it comes to PWDs (like me) being objectified because wooopdeedooooo we're doing something that abled people can do because woooooooo we're disabled.

WE'RE DISABLED BECAUSE YOU SICK FUCKS DON'T GIVE A FAT FLYING SHIT ABOUT UNIVERSAL ACCESS!

One example is when people go "please vote for this video because blablablabla" and the video is showcasing a bunch of PWDs being afforded a few days of diving by some nice people who think they're making the world a better place because look at me, I'm helping. Wooooo~

NO YOU'RE NOT HELPING. YOU'RE JUST MAKING FUCKING INSPIRATION PORN SO YOU ABLED PEOPLE CAN JUSTIFY NOT BEING A BUNCH OF LAZY GITS.

Let me explain to you how inspiration porn works.
Average lazy human being stumbles across a post that showcases a PWD doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing but it's a bit harder (but they have to do it anyway because life). Average lazy human sees/watches this and starts going "Oh, man... If this crippled can do it, why can't I? I should be able to do this right cos I'm abled."
I want to slap you so hard with your privilege. 

(https://youtu.be/UD-y6u5YbWE)

Click the link if you must.

So I wrote a response but I don't think anyone will have a second pass at it. Here's my schtick:

If you want to oggle inspiration porn, I'd like you to put yourself in our shoes. Which of our needs are not met within your locale and how do you fix it?
Go out there and find ways to make it a better place for all of us to interact with and experience.
Seek help in making it a safer, more accessible place for all of us.

Let me tell you a little secret.
Anyone and everyone can become disabled, and often, suddenly. So, no, don't get off your little high horse but think of the day where that horse bucks and you lie in a pool of stupid with your broken legs.
Then will you start thinking about what we have to go through as a PWD... because you're one too.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Driving Miss Angry

I want to drive a car.

To have a car but not be able to drive it is hands down one of the most frustrating things in the world.
Then I found out that Hospital Rehab Cheras has a Driving Simulator.

Catch 1: Right now the driving sim is broken and we don't know when it'll be fixed.
Because the government agencies are famous for tardiness... unless we have to pay them for summons or whatever. Bastards.

Catch 2: The driving sim operates on a pull-push system for acceleration and breaks which I find a bit clunky so I did some research.

EMC AEVIT 2.0
This system is used heavily in the US to enable people with various disabilities, the ones I saw were paraplegics who wanted to function normally without the absolute help from others which I also need. Autonomy is king! SOVEREIGNITY IS KING!!!

It doesn't use a push-pull system but instead a series of monitors and joystick type things... it looks super easy to work with and also very close to how a game pad works... This is good. Why?
Because I can drive in videogames.

Catch 3: Getting into and out of the car.
I don't have the typical wheelchairs that you can drive into the car and start driving straight up because I use a Travelscoot. It's more like a tiny motorised tricycle which means I have to get off it and go towards the front of my car, maybe with the aid of crutches. How do I load up the car with the scooter?

Something like this... Hoist lifts (This one's called the Armstrong Lift but I expect there to be more types out there).



Because I have issues with sit to stand, getting into the car will not be a problem provided it's a car close to my height getting out on the other hand... maybe a little bit more difficult. What systems can I put in place to make sure I can get in and out safely? (Aside from getting a tall-ish car straight off the bat). I think my only option is to have a slighly taller car. It's also good so people don't bully you on the road which is always an issue in Malaysia.


...
I think having all these mods would definitely make it amazingly easy for me to drive. It also makes it a very attainable goal. Cheers to me! If this works out, we'll figure out how to monetise this so that other OKUs can drive too.

VIVAMUS MOBILITATEM!

Friday, November 25, 2016

As a nihilist, I understand that death is the end, it is inevitable. As a positive nihilist, however, I know deep within myself as truth that death doesn't happen UNTIL the end. it's inevitability does not dictate what I do with my life. In the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Life is a journey, not a destination.

Meroyan aside. It's now time for me to face the fact that I didn't make it until day 31 of Inktober. Better luck next year. Derp.

Here are the posts from days 1 to 18.

A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on


2
A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on









A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on
















A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on


A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on


A photo posted by Sha Roose (@cpt_scuter) on



Yeah, long post is long. I tell you what, Instagram is being put to good use in archiving for the blog.
Makes it easy for you to see, even.

Make sure to follow for more SHAnanigans.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016


INKTOBER IS UPON USSSSSSSSSSS!!!

This time, the mission is to complete the 31 days of drawing.
Pen and paper only, and if i get stuck I may use one of these prompts.

Monday, August 08, 2016

Sha Makes Art

I'd like to start off this post by saying that inertia is a bitch.
I say that because I want to do so many different things, make so many artefacts, cook all the food, project all the light and... I just want to do.

The creative process has always been at my core, though it might not be accepted as a process per-se BUT you who are not me will never know what it is to be me, to be in my shoes so I'd like you to please get off whatever educated what-school-so-and-so high horse you're on and accept that the creative process is as different as the creatures that live on this planet.

BUT these endeavours need money.

I literally have a list of things to do which I haven't started because of inertia.

A part of me is also scared of the possibility of winning so hard that there is an expectation put upon me to create more along the same strains. I don't want to.

I want to make what I want to make, when I want to make them.

I dislike deadlines.

I have a list.
I have a list of things to do.

For some of the items on this list, I need a team.
If only because I am not physically capable of doing various things.

For some others, I can do alone.
If only because it is not a physically taxing process.

Also........... I need to flush out my to-do list so I can PATREONNNNNNNNNNNNN YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

Also, also,
This was something I wrote.
"Anarchists never go with the flow.
They are the black sheep
The stray yarn that you pull and tug until the whole world unravels
Burning in flames as the rest scream
And cry
Like a body without a head
Running
In circles until it too
Drops
To the floor
Cold

I like order
But
One must also understand that
Chaos is the way of the universe and there can only be order through chaos."

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Sometimes I write things that sounds really pretty but has no place whatever I'm writing so I dump it here.

This is today's:

"Malaysia, the blood on which is spilt -- home -- is pregnant with intricacies known only by her people will be represented by a cultured society instead of one muddied by capitalism and greed."

Thursday, April 21, 2016

I'm reading (I say reading but I'm just speeding through the audiobook) The 4-Hour Work Week by Tim Ferris as suggested by Tijana. So far, it's brilliant!
http://fourhourworkweek.com/

What it posits:
1. What am I afraid of?
2. What would excited me? (Boredom is the enemy)
     Dreamlining:
4. What would you do if there were no way you could fail, if you were 10 times smarter than everyone? 6 months and 12 months, 5 things you dream of having, being and doing.
5. What would you do if you had all the money in the bank? What excites you into waking up the next day?

Time paused:  1:40:08 (Chapter 5)

Saturday, April 16, 2016

I am 29, the last year of my 20s. Last year to be an utter shite as a 20-something. Next year I get to be an utter shite as a 30 year old.

But to commemorate me turning 29 and singing my own birthday song in the shower, here's 29 things I've accomplished at 29:

1. Was born.
2. Graduated High School
3. Graduated with a degree in Interior Design
4. Stayed in another country for 4 years
5. Made and kept good company
6. Got a cat.
7. Went on travelling adventures even with limited mobility.
8. Kept in touch with important people in my life
9. Got my Open Water Diving Licence.
10. Is part of an effort to cure SMA.
11. Started testing Salbutamol on myself for SCIENCE!
12. Decided that employment in a company that doesn't value you is the worst way to live life.
13. Started doing personal projects for personal amusement
14. Keeping up with an exercise regiment for my muscular health
15. Am pleased with the person I am but know that there's always space for growth and that, in life, one never stops learning
16. Making art regularly that is not ego-centric but self teaching
17. Started trading of the FX market on a demo account and keeping logs on it
18. Am doing a course of Project Management on Coursera
19. Am doing a course on Greek and Roman mythology on Coursera
20. I have my own website
21. I'd turned my name into a brand
22. I've used my name as one part of a Design Collective called Aubergine
23. I have a substantial board and card game collection which is ever expanding
24. Is pretty good in beginner's French, and getting better
25. Is not controlled by others opinions
26. Has come to terms with the thing people call 'emotions'
27. Family is intact and well
28. Has a life goal and a rough plan
29. I'm still alive.

Happy Birthday to me! (Even though it was a mediocre year)

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Okay, so I'm horrible at keeping up with my posts for IAMOGP.

So here's a backdated updat from the last 2 weeks summarised into one sentence:
I feel stronger, maybe.
(Dumbells getting to be more manageable, might be able to increase in a month, ditto with cardio intensity.)

Aside from that... Patreon?
Mini Projects that I should be arsed to do every month?
RESIN CRAFT/JEWELLERY making?
Art.

Aaaaaaaaaart. I should really get started.

I have no raison d'être.

:(

On another note,

This just happened... (click to read.)


And then I photoshopped the poster appropriately...


Took half an hour and it's because I was bored.

Tuesday, April 05, 2016

It's been 4 days since the daily IAMOGP update. I've decided to now continue it weekly because there's really nothing to talk about. IAMOGP updates every Sunday.
I'm also down to my last two pills and I have to get more tomorrow. Ehee.
Actually, I have bought a new set of pills. 100x 4mg.

Period's here and the bloat is real.

Fairy Tail is on hiatus. I know this because I've just gotten up to date with all. ALL. Episodes. Laxus is hot... So is Gray. T-T
I guess I have to find something else to binge-watch.

I don't feel like doing anything for my birthday anymore. Thought I wanted to do a Lousiana seafood boil but in the end... I really cant be bothered.

Also,also...
Where was THIS when I was in Uni??? It sure would've helped me make better folios I tell you.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 6 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 8AM
Second Dose at about 4PM
Heart Palpitations: None

Thoughts:

Physio/Occu at PPUM, 830AM to 12-ish AM.
20 minutes stationary bike, Wasn't paying attention
15 minutes arm cycling.
3 reps: 2lb Bicep curls x12, front raises x12 ; 4lb shrugs x12
20 minutes leg push thingy but the machine looks like a giant old-skool sewing machine.
30 minute standing with the standing machine.

A bit of a slow, crummy kind of day. Period definitely on the way.

________________________________

I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 7 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 2:15PM
Second Dose at about pm
Heart Palpitations: None

Thoughts: Actually no thoughts today.

________________________________

Binge read New Normal: Class 8. It's really good but since I binged it... I HAVE TO WAIT FOR EVERY SUNDAY FOR THE NEXT PIECE. >:(

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 5 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 12:15PM
Second Dose at about 10pm
Heart Palpitations: None

Thoughts: Not much to comment on today. Stayed at home. I think my period is on the way so legs are taking a bit of a beating and back hurts.

________________________________

Okay, I admit to having a soft spot for the dead fat F* Jabba the hutt.
His lines are pretty awesome.

http://www.completewermosguide.com/hutttranscript.html

Monday, March 28, 2016

On to...
I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 4 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 7:45AM
Second Dose at about 4pm
Heart Palpitations: None

Thoughts:
Physio/Occu at PPUM, 830AM to 10-ish AM.
20 minutes stationary bike, Level 2. Right leg dominant.
15 minutes arm cycling, Level 3 (5m), Level 2 (10m).
3 reps: 2lb Bicep curls x12, front raises x12 ; 4lb shrugs x12
15 minutes leg push thingy but the machine looks like a giant old-skool sewing machine.

The two-pound dumbells were... slightly lighter. Again, I'm not sure if this is all psychosomatic and I'm making all of it up but I'm pretty sure this Salbutamol thing is sort of maybe working.

________________________________________

On a side note,

Anti-feminist bullshit that is unfounded has made its rounds again -- as it does every year.
Please, read this https://everydaygeopoliticshouston.wordpress.com/2015/04/10/a-reply-to-lauren-southerns-why-im-not-a-feminist/

It is imperative that you go through all the links she provided as well as go through the comments. Just read the entire thing.

Sunday, March 27, 2016

On to...
I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 3: 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at1PM
Second Dose at about 11pm
Heart Palpitations: None

Thoughts: Did not sleep well, not really sure why, maybe taking Salbutamol too late? I don't know.
But I had a mediocre steak... Red meat is still red meat no matter how mediocre it is.

Saturday, March 26, 2016

We now return to...
I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.)

Day 2: 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 3PM
Second Dose at about 11pm
Heart palpitations: None

Restlessness: N/A -- I'm taking this out for all future posts because it's not applicable.

Thoughts: I think it needs some sort of benchmark test thingy to be done at the end of the week. Maybe something to do with walking somewhere...

IAMOGP 1

Just wanted to introduce a new segment into this blog called

I AM MY OWN GUINEA PIG!!! (IAMOGP) -- or eeamogupuh for short.) This should be recorded for the appropriate effect.

I have just found out that our friendly neighbourhood asthma drug called Salbutamol (also known as Albuterol and sold as Ventolin) also helps SMA patients to a certain degree. I am elated to know this because of 2 things:

1) It is cheap
2) It is easily accessible

A fellow medical practitioner, let's call himTinkerbell, from the SMA family group recently gave me and a few others instructions for self dosing. He said that optimal dosage for an adult is 4mg, 3 times a day but to start of with 2mg, 3 times a day so that we can check if there are any heartrate issues as it is a stimulant.

Let's discuss how Salbutamol works for a second, this is all from Tinkerbell by the way:
- Salbutamol is a beta 2 agonist. Beta 2 receptors found in lung and heart muscles. Thus incrreasing heart rate and causes bronchiodilation. Since both are muscles, in theory, it will stimulate all muscles.
The main worry is an increased heart-rate, too fast and it will cause an irregular heartbeat (arrythmia) and the Respiratory specialists will say that it can cause ventilation/perfussion missmatch.

- If you get heart palpitations, drink plenty of water -- I'm guessing it helps you pee out the drugs.
Lower dosage if palpitations happen.

- Optimum dosage would be 4mg, 3 times a day (based on my weight apparently) but to keep things safe, start with 2mg, every 8hours.

And now, some research of my own as to the effects of Salbutamol on SMA...
- (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20837492)
METHOD:
Spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) is a neuromuscular disorder caused by mutations of the SMN1 gene. Based on severity, three forms of SMA are recognised (types I-III). All patients usually have 2-4 copies of a highly homologous gene (SMN2) which produces insufficient levels of functional survival motor neuron (SMN) protein. Recently, evidence has been provided that SMN2 expression can be enhanced in vitro by salbutamol, a β2-adrenergic agonist. This compound has also been shown to improve motor function of SMA patients in two different pilot trials.
RESULTS:
A significant and constant increase in SMN2 full length transcript levels was detected; the response was directly proportional to SMN2 gene copy number.

- Salbutamol for Spinal Atrophy Type 3 
CONCLUSION:
Oral salbutamol has been well tolerated and appears to maintain, and in some cases improve motor performance in SMA III

(Click links for further readings and do a quick Google search for more info)
_____________________________________________________

Bought Salbutamol from pharmacy.21 tablets (2mg each) costs RM4.20,ergo, cheap as chips. 21 tablets for a one week test, starting tomorrow. I think I'll be doing voice recordings on my thoughts and the effects.

Day 1: 2mg, twice a day
First Dose at 2:14PM
Second Dose at about 10pm
Heart palpitations: None

Restlessness: The usual amount because i have never had a day where I just sit and do nothing.

Thoughts: It's probably psychosomatic but I feel a tad better. Also, keep in mind that I did have an intense work-out session yesterday (Weights went up from 3lb to 4lb -- it's not much for you but it's satan on my muscles) so it might be my body's just chilling out and fixing itself.

Thursday, March 03, 2016

It's almost 4AM... I had coffee late... hahahaha

Alfred posted this so now I'm reposting it... Because I ain't sleepy.

Here are the rules for you to ignore or adhere to as you see fit: (copy & paste) in your status update, list 12 albums that have stayed with you (whatever that brings to mind for you) - but, and this is the most important rule/non-rule only 1 per band/artist. Don't take too long and no need to think too hard. Tag ten Facebook friends (including me) and get them to do the same thing. We'll leave compilation albums out please. Happy reminiscing!

Also, mind, I'm not tagging (nor did I tag) anyone and this one will have a long story about why these albums stuck with me and only the ones where I love THE ENTIRE album. These made the cut.

1. QUEEN's Greatest Hits
This one's easy. It's the first album gifted to me by the fathur when I was in grade 1. Stuck with me forever.

2. QUEENThe Crusader's Chain Reaction
Possible Introductory album to Jazz/Funk, rifled through the fathur's music stash. NO RAGRETSSSS

3. TUPAC's Until The End Of Time
I have a soft spot for Gangsta Rap. Also, I'm like the least OG person ever. hahahaha

4. INCUBUS' A Crow Left Of The Murder
I. LOVE. INCUBUS. And I hate that I can't list down their entire discography

5. BONE THUGS 'N' HARMONY's The Art Of War
The amount of times I listened to this was incredible... I even memorised EVERY song and rapped along to it. I know, right? What?

6. KORN's Untouchables
This album was cathartic to 14 year old Sha.

7. SYSTEM OF A DOWN's Steal This Album!
This album was hilarious and bouncy to late teens Sha

8. SOUNDGARDEN's Superunknown
Better than Nirvana on all fronts. Hands down.

9. DETHKLOK's Dethalbum (because lol)
Seriously, Branden Smalls is amazing. Want. Also because I love Metalocalypse.

10. CAMILLE's Le Sac De Filles
Hello, Bossa Nova and awesome stage music live things!

11. SEVEN COLLAR T-SHIRT's Drones
Yes. Just yes.

12. GTA: ST ANDREAS, K-DST Radio channel. (Does this even count? It does now haha)
Little Brother played GTA:SA so much that this channel is embedded in my brain. Comedy gold is my fathur reacting to this...
"Pak hitam listening to white rock. hahahahahaha"

Thursday, February 11, 2016

It's already February! WHAT?!

WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WITH MY LIFE?

Well, first of all,

HAPPY NEW YEAR! I know it's been a month plus since but I've been busy, alright. Stop being so needy.

Second of all,
I made a video and a petition that you need to sign ASAP because you love me:



N-th of all,
Bought myself a GoPro's ciplak Cousin's ciplak cousin, the SJ7000.

Which meanssssss... I'm all kitted out for adventuring.
The Legless Adventures!
Episode 1: Sabah bah - Released in April

Podcast?

At this juncture, I want to do EVERYTHING!

Also,
totes taking the 'Moving To France' bit in my head seriously.
Marseille *heart shaped eyes* I WANT TO LIVE IN YOU. For like 2 years or so.
and
AND
I get to learn French by immersion.