I stole this off Na who stole it off her friend.
Its funny and some are true... please add anything you find missing... or if you find is completely wrong. Men, do your thang.
Im colouring the bits I agree on.
This is a list of rules that all men should should strive to abide by. They are usually unwritten, unspoken of “Man-Rules”, however, due to the increasing about of dipshits who forget them, we have compiled them into one handy list. Consider this your bible; the bread and butter of being a man. Consider these rules for life. Rules for men.
Man Rules
1. Never walk in front of the TV screen.
2. Never call another man just to ‘talk’.
3. Never wax your chest, unless you’re The Rock.
4. There is no such thing as soccer. It’s called football you dumb fuck.
5. Real men eat meat. It is scientifically proven that everyone who is a vegetarian has a vagina.
6. Never expect a man to remember your birthday, or in fact, any occasion. Presents are strictly optional, and never an obligation. Whinging about this will result in a violent teabagging.
7. If your mobile phone rings, and you are in the middle of an activity with your buddies, you must obtain the approval of every man present before picking up your mobile.
8. A real man does not pause a game to reply to, or send, a text.
9. Bro’s before ho’s. Unless she’s really fine, like Megan Fox. In which case fuck your bro’s.
10. No man shall take the last slice or portion of a food item, without first obtaining the approval of every other man present. If two men come into conflict, they must resolve this with a fight.
11. A real man doesn’t need instruction manuals.
12. Lesbians are fucking manly. These bitches are so hardcore that they like bitches.
13. Beer.
14. Never go out with a brothers sister, unless you intend to marry her. And raise two beautiful children. And live in the countryside. And never make her cry. Staring is fine though.
15. A brother in need, is a brother indeed.
16. Never take a man’s food.
17. Always finish your plate. A man who does not finish his plate must have his balls confiscated. With a sledgehammer.
18. Never criticise a man’s porn collection. Unless it’s really fucked up, like fat chicks.
19. Boobs.
20. The old Xbox controller is fucking manly.
21. If you don’t know the difference between their and there, you have a vagina.
22. Jaw lines are fucking manly.
23. Real men must never watch womens football, unless the players are topless.
24. Real men don’t have fruit on their pizza.
25. Never complain about a fellow mans fart or burp. Instead, rate it out of ten.
26. When walking into a Mens Toilet, ensure that there is a one urinal gap on both sides of you. If this is not possible, wait.
27. There is no known instance where it is acceptable for a man to be situated on other mans lap.
28. Do not look over at another man’s urinal while he is urinating.
29. Don’t question the rules.
30. If requested, you should be able to cite at least 5 of these rules off by heart.
31. Never pop your collar.
32. A man must never physically hurt a woman or child.
33. Real men would rather have chapped lips than use lip balm.
34. Real men don’t know what conditioner is.
35. When speaking to another male through either IM/Text/Email; a man must never use an emoticon
36. Never should a man give a woman his credit card
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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHA...
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