Statues Vs Monkeys

I had an interesting debate with Shravan. read on. See how profoundly wonderful tactic advisors we are. We rock and we are jobless.
We are jobless rocks.
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Shrav says:
If all the statues in the world became "alive" & waged war on all the monkeys in the world... who would win?
i say statues
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
monkeys cos we're technically apes as well
Shrav says:
Statue of liberty, that Mother Russia thing in St. Petersburg, Christ the Redeemer
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
and we've got BOMBS! Nuke liberty and christ! Yay!
Shrav says:
no monkeys that are in the nude, scratch their butts and pick things of their bodies and eat
i don’ mean hippies
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
oh... liberty and christ is too big to notice, apollo and adonis have no arms and so does every other greek statue
Shrav says:
venus has no arms but nice boobs
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
and the statues with heads only what’re they gonna do? harp?
Shrav says:
the monkeys would be distracted
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
ooo ooo eee aaa ooo. bitch gimme my banana *munch munch*
Shrav says:
sphinx
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
banana peels make good weapons against those made of stone, slippery much, the bigger they are the harder they fall
Shrav says:
this is interesting we need a very in depth discussion about this
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
that we shall. And the sphinx would sink and decay and what not cos his stone is flimsy that’s why his nose fell off... porous rock
Shrav says:
the sphinx has survived for 4000 years a bunch of monkeys with interesting conks and backsides can't do worse damage than what we do
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
you may be surprised, they pick at everything
Shrav says:
i certainly shall be, we are horrible cretins
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
i is not a monkey
Shrav says:
k lemme think of a proper statue to scare the living daylight of your monkeys
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
though cretinous behaviour, i does so do
Shrav says:
easter island statues would be off no help
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
whatre they gonna do? talk monkeys to death?
Shrav says:
unless them funky eyes can come up with something
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
BOOOO!!!
eep! oo oooo... oooo... *climb on head*
GODDAMNIT.
Shrav says:
the voice they generate will scare the monkeys shitless and with my army of smiling little buddhas waiting in the rear and their deceptive smiles shall crush the uncultured foe
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
its monkeys.
Shrav says:
but there are more monkeys than little buddhas no? in the world ?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
yes, unless you count all the statuettes ppl have in the house... garden gnomes and the likes what if the statues were monkey statues?
Shrav says:
k bronze statues will mean certain, instant and definite victory for the statues
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
do they maime themselves in the honor of rockdom? bronze... true... unless they feel like attacking monkeys from the other continent which would make them go into the sea and cross and sink into the abyss
Shrav says:
k we'll give monkey statues the benefit of doubt, where they go confused set up a commitee to review the situation, set up another committee to find out why the first one took so long, and it all ends up with them stoning while smoking bananas
ah damn bronze is dense
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
rasta monkeys
Shrav says:
listening to bob Marley, why not?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
true...
peace maaaaaan... we want no fight...
Shrav says:
shit you've got a counter for all me statues. got to think harder
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
of course all the statues can hear is "ooo... oooo... "
Shrav says:
can we clasify hippies as monkeys or is that too harsh?
what about PETA?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
hahaha... PETA... hahaha... PETA would whoop the asses of all the statues for being useless in animal rights and statues would end up in jail convicted of animal rights issues
Shrav says:
yeah but where're you going to find a jail of that size?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
whats PETA aabbreviated for again? well rocks can be turned into brick and metal can be melted
Shrav says:
People for Ethical Treatment for Animals
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
so the extinction of the living gollums are inevitable
Shrav says:
feck i'm losing it seems but you're using human interference, no fair
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
you brought it up... this is fun.
Shrav says:
where did i bring up humans
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
you said PETA so i uses PETA against you. I is the rock and the hard place. yeay
Shrav says:
PETA can be classified as monkeys cause everyone hates them
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
You’re giving me chances. PETA ppl are smart monkeys... they make molotovs
Shrav says:
but for burning you'll need to cut down trees, and trees have habitat living in them, so if PETA cut down the trees they're going against their word so how can they burn said bronze statues of mine?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
they swim to the other side of the ocean. or take a boat...
seeeenk tiny bronze ppl... seeeeeeenk...
Shrav says:
the Bering strait, the statues can cross in winter when it is frozen solid
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
ocean man ocean with lots of random dark pits of doom... not to mention intense pressure that will inevitably squish bronze ppl into scrap metal are you planning on making jewellery for the fish?
Shrav says:
but bering strait does get frozen solid connecting mother Russia and shithole wilderness alaska, pristine wilderness mind you
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
physics man... gimme a map
Shrav says:
even better i give you wiki
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
i shall plot your demise... mwahahahahha...
Shrav says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bering_strait
your excuse that monkeys can cause more decay in rock statues than we've done in 4000 years is not acceptable
banana peels are not a feasible answers
a shitload may trouble but we have to clarify that
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
heh? well aside from peels... monkeys are resourcefull buggers and hyper too
Shrav says:
In March 2006 Briton Karl Bushby and French American adventurer Dimitri Kieffer crossed the Bering Strait on foot, walking across a frozen 90 km (56 mile) section in 15 days.
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
and they come in packs
15 days...
Shrav says:
true i'll give them that the ones in batu caves are a horror
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
doesn’t bronze get affected by the cold?
Shrav says:
ummmm no
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
even if they are technically frozen solid
Shrav says:
feck you got me there
Shrav says:
bloody global warming
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
haha-ing much... so how?
how many bronze statues are there?
Shrav says:
let's see i got you on the stone statues you got me by proxy due to the monkeys buggering off across the ocean btw how do monkeys cross the ocean? they can’t swim
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
well there's been factual occurrences where monkeys actually float to different islands by driftwood as well as snakes and large lizards
Shrav says:
so it's sort of hit and hop that they don’t drown?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
yea. okay assuming you do wipe out my monkeys on one continent
Shrav says:
my nonsense of crossing the bering strait makes more sense
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
how you gonna get the other buggers? on small islands?
Shrav says:
the statues in the other continent?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
small islands, all they have are talking heads
Shrav says:
i got the statue of liberty and christ the redeemer for the americas
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
ooo... imagine the argument you'd hear from the stone heads in the states they'd sink. oceans pretty deep oh and you didn’t think of the sea-monkeys
Shrav says:
where the heck did you come up with that?
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
they're like prawns remember if you went to pet shops they’re always selling sea-monkeys
just add water?
Shrav says:
i'm guessing it's a load of crap
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
they live, friend has them... tiny plankton like shit
Shrav says:
You’re running out of ideas so in that case i win
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
Sea monkeys
Shrav says:
and then wait for the statues to destroy us all where i'll have a bunch of PETA actisvist, hippies and bono as sacrificial lamb to divert the statues attention before nuking them
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea-Monkey ... hahahah
Shrav says:
WTF is that? it's a bloody shrimp and it looks like it's in a threesome lip-lock in that pic
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
You’re supposed to be trying to save the giant stone dumb butts not nuke them. That’s my job
hahah... its zooplankton... sea-monkeys
Shrav says:
i'm human after all, well last time i checked anyway
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
in which case.. .what are the statues gonna do? wade out and hope the sea-monkeys die of boredom?
Shrav says:
brine shrimp
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
ahahaha... you’re human. brine shrimp are fugly
Shrav says:
Sea-monkeys are a trifle and will have no bearing on the war so due to the imbalance in the ecosystems around the world your sea monkeys will suddenly face a drop in their population due to lack of food, and what i'm guessing is a favoured past time of theirs, threesome lip-lock, they'll go mental and kill themselves and that will be the end of the fugly shrimps
or i'll risk on of my stone creatures to plonk itself in the sea and crush the shrimp
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH... they reproduce asexually and they eat plankton and monkeys have nothing to do with it
Shrav says:
the change in ecosytem will cause plankton population to drop
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
nah, never been so... though you may be right what with global warning... damn global warming!!!
Shrav says:
ah my problem has proved a stumbling block for you too it seems
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
monkeys monkeys monkeys
what can monkeys do cept act violent
Shrav says:
this won't end
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
it wont...
Shrav says:
nice discussion though... enjoyed it
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
i say forfeit and be happy statues don’t have a mind of their own
Shrav says:
yep fair enough
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
otherwise we are getting a smushed
Shrav says:
and that we got violence, spca, and tranquilizers to keep monkeys in check
(I ♥♪) Sha says:
Yep and PETA can go suck it

(The End)
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Yes, we are the jobless.