It's been long since the last bout of poeticity...

In Adequacy

Sarcophagus of silence,

Alone,

Pondering,

Sit staring into darkness the quiet weeps insignificant,

reverberations of adequacy,

Inadequacy,

Thoughts of imperfections,

Minuscule but triumphant.

A hole,

Deep,

Meaningless an abyss of disrepair,

Of self reflection.

Reflection?

Refraction of soul

Askew,

Deliberate,

Callous,

Distant.

Sharp intangible knives,

Stabbing a pain,

The fourth vertebrae.

Collapse,

The ego collapses,

No longer immune.

The sticks,

The stones.

They consume the corpse,

Falls into disregard,

Ignored.

Broken.

But never forever so she awakens.

____________________________

I'm rather pissed at myself for an idiot week. This feeling is awful. Someone cauterise it so that the bleeding stops and I can be genuinely happy.

I'm posting lots of crazy on my twitter right now, sounds like I have the crazies.

Questions off Na's blog from HERE I will answer.

1. Five ways to win my heart:
  - Make me laugh
  - Nerd/Geek out with as much fervour as I do
  - Be nice to the waiter.
  - RESPECT MY FAMILY as I respect yours, don't be a douche.
  - Read me like a book

2. Something I feel strongly about:
  - A sense of self. Who you are is not defined by your religious faith, your political views, or your skin colour. Who you are is defined by your thoughts, passion for the things you do, your interests, the people you surround yourself with and most importantly, your self respect.

3. A book I love:
  - Will always be my first love, when I decided that this was the genre that would forever captivate me. Tom Holt's Odds and Gods. When you can do a piss-take and get people to laugh.

4. Bullet my whole day?
  - If I had to bullet my whole day? >> Be occupado.

5. Things I want to say to my ex:
  - Thank you. You have no idea how much whatever you did meant to me.

6. Views on mainstream music.
  - I hate it. yes, HATE.

7. Five pet peeves:
  - Tardiness
  - overly emotional people
  - parents who cannot control their children
  - jealous types
  - Not winning

8. What I ate today:
  - A burger from Grill'd. I miss the nice 8 ringgit burger at Taman Permata.

9. How important I think education is:
  - Finish college. You need college if only for the people you meet and the friends you make because they're the ones who secure your future. Not a piece of paper that says how good you were in your exams. Learn to accomodate.

10. 10 songs playing on shuffle:
  - Soundgarden's Holy Water
  - Soundgarden's Down On The Upside
  - Arctic Monkeys' Secret Doors
  - Greenday's Minority
  - Epica's version of Stabat Mater Dolorosa (From Stabat Mater-Giovanni Battista Pergolesi)
  - Amy Macdonald's This Is The Life
  - Slipknot's Tattered and Torn
  - Skindred's Tears
  - Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive
  - Chevelle's Peer

11. My family:
  - is worthy of their own sitcom.
    My father (Ayah Awesome), my hero, so inappropriate, foot-in-mouth-disease, speaks his mind, loving, cracks super lame dad-jokes/puns.
   My mother (Enda Awesome), our balance, she frets for us when we don't for ourselves, she then moves on to fret for everyone else just because she can, itchy-butt cannot keep still, gave birth to me so hello? Imagine if that never happened?
  My siblings, so different like a bunch of highschool stereotypes. I can't imagine life without them. It would be pretty quiet and uneventful.

12. Five guys I find attractive
  - By simple physical features and not including personality types... my studio lect with chinhair, Luca with chinhair, Christian Bale with chinhair, Jason Momoa with chinhair, Gerard Butler because he's a man's man. I'm starting to see a common theme here... Chinhair. omigosh.

13. My opinion on my body and how comfy I am with it:
  - I love my body but a few days a month it goes apeshit and I can't do anything about it. :(

14. What I wore today:
  - Jeggings (I can't belive I used that word), black long sleeved shirt and a Ripcurl hoodie, flipflops.

15. My zodiac and if it fits my personality:
  - Aries Fire Rabbit, Hell to the yes.

16. Something I always think 'What if...' about:
  - What if i didn't have SMA 3? how different would I be?

17. Something that I'm proud of:
  - At the moment, Tape Melbourne. In general, I live in another country.

18. A problem that I've had:
  - I was a problem child. You figure that out yourself.

19. Five items I lust after:
  - Ibanez Iceman
  - Better computer
  - Canary Yellow Cobra Mustang Convertible 2003 with Bose soundsystem and black leather interior.
  - Amazing soundsystem
  - My own apartment

20. My fears:
  - Heights but I'll conquer that soon.
  - Losing my family

21. How I hope my future will be like:
  - Just like I imagine it would be because I'll make it happen.

22. My academics:
  - Great enough to get me through to the next checkpoint.

23.Something that I miss:
  - MY CAT :(

24. Five words or phrases that make me laugh:
  - Ich bin Berliner (Which means I am a donut haha)
  - NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!
  - Theo Van DOUCHEBAG
  - Meow
  - What? Huh? What? What?...

25. Something I'm currently worrying about
  - Uni work. I feel horrid about it and I feel like I need a slap in the face. Meh.

26. Things I like and dislike about myself:
  Like - I'm awesome
  Dislike - I procrastinate

27. A quote I try to live by:
  - "Anything you can do I can do better..." Annie Get your Gun.

28. Somewhere I'd like to move to or visit:
  - EVERYWHERE

29. Five weird things that I like:
  - Manly Chinhair on my men and I don't care that it scrapes my face.
  - Sour things
  - Heavy Metal
  - Angry Stand-up Comedy
  - Old Musicals

30. One thing I'm excited for:
  - I'm always looking forward and am excited for the life I am working towards.

Sleep? Apa tu? Tomorrow, I'm guessing what's gonna happen is I'm gonna come home after presenting whatever nonsense I have and sleep until I have to go back to class in the afternoon. Assuming I can go back at all.

I'm prepared for P's critique because my 5 pieces tak siap. Sial.

Add on:
P tak naik gila. Surprise. Nailed it.

I have so many things to do before 10AM tomorrow...
*epicsadface*

I cook like a bawse, yo.
Made mee kari today but no seeham. And it never tastes as good as the one you buy at the roadside from the old auntie and uncle tag-team. So how do you make it so god without the MSG? I have no idea but damn it all.

Final TM tribute:

Yes. I'm happy to not be dead tired cos it's almost the end of sem. OMG SO CEPAT! That is correct.
I'm up to my chin with work and I don't know where to start. Nor do I want to start. Siap, mati nanti.

Sad that lelaki italy yang comel telah diambil. :(

The cake I made is actually really good... :O
Anyway, I had this dream where I picked up my report sheet and saw the marks after I apparently kicked ass in the presentation but failed. I raged... then I woke up with a wtf and thought about the day I got loads of random free shit. hahahahaha... I am now happy again. Happy and eating cake.

Have a lovely day denizens of the internet!

So. Much. Work.

SOMUCHWORK! :(

There's something exhilarating when organising a hugely successful exhibit, in other words, I TapeMelbourne'd like a Bawse. Ahaahahah...

Now I have to Bawse my uni work in time for tomorrow. Which I have just found out that my presentation is at  10AM which means I have to berOfficeWorks at 7AM. Damnit, damnit, damnit.

Me: Hey Viv, tell Francesco I said Luca is cute.
Viv: Who is cute?
Me: Luca.
Viv: Luca!
Francesco far away screaming: HOW COME EVERYONE SAYS LUCA IS CUTE HOW COME FRANCESCO NOT CUTE ALWAYS LUCA... *merapu lebih*
Viv: He's angry now...
Me: WTF HAHAAHAHAHAHHAA...

On another note,
Tape Melbourne is awesome and I have lost my voice. Yeay.

Me to T & J during Tape Melbourne:
Right, if you guys are waiting for something to do, I need you to start clearing up the place and throw stuff away and then I need you to move that scaff so that A can finish up the arm...
*T and J still listening after I stop talking for 3 seconds*
Uhh... well, chop-chop!


hahahah...

I haven't baked the cake and I got into a fight with gravity and got punched in the face by her very, very, very violent friend, the floor, all because I tried to climb onto the pavement with my scooter and misjudged the height. Damn gravity and her friends... But yay for drinks!

Dirty Black Russians beat White Russians and I still don't like beer. Strawberry-apple cider on the other hand is not bad.

Drink tally: 2 whites, 1 beer, 3 dirty black russians.

The week of craziness is over. Over.




Amazing, aren't they?

And this was my few weeks long amazingness: Tape Melbourne and the Tape Melbourners (without Tracy, David and Josh)

Ultimate super-uber-duper-mega awesome project given today: Bake a cake and eat it slowly (while drawing each change) during class next Friday. How awesome is that?

I'm thinking a decadent cake made of layers of brownies and mint cheesecake topped with a dark chocolate ganache.

I must admit that the mint/chocolate pairing is amazing and the person who came up with it should be hugged... HARD.

Oh, great, I just made myself hungry. Nevermind, there's leftovers.

I should probably start baking the night before... but just in case, I'll make samplers. :O

What I really should do right now is get off Pinterest, onto my bed, turn on the laptop with a notebook beside me and figure out how Steven Holl seems like me.

Let me preface this post by mentioning that my lovely lecturers have given each of us a high profile 'client' to work with and was chosen based on our observed personality or points in whatever we've designed. They gave me Steven Holl.

Now, if I described myself as I am perceived in the public eye it would sound a lot like:
Calm, collected, bright spark, people oriented, loves and lives in the human-nature interaction, focusing on the correlation between spaces personalities and moods, light in relation to a space and light in relation to the medium of expression, cavalier, motivated if it suits me, and all around awesome.
The reality is that I'm not quite sure what the general public sees me as.
Also when I don't like something it usually goes the way of 'masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan' which is honestly what I do when I think the feedback was wholly unnecessary.

I like glass and metal and wood but only in pairs and not too much of each unless the façade warrants it. It's quite difficult to use if you want to bear in mind the eventual inhabitants and how they might interact in a new system. Design thinking based on the word green and the words good-for-the-soul. If it had anything to do with me it would probably have a lot to do with personal discovery, interaction and displays of human emotion AND whether or not it feels good. If it feels bad, don't do it which is probably why I'm not so keen on negative reinforcement oftentimes.

What I already DID was to have gotten off Pinterest and blah-blah-blah... What I am doing now though is spacing out while typing this. Pursuant to posts on twitter that I had written shortly before: "... sensitive crafting of space, materials, and light." Oh, I seeeeeeee... Ego much?"

It seems that I perhaps tried to correlate his (Mr. Holl) methods into my own thereby raising my self worth... Hence the ego trip I just had which lasted about 10 minutes.

I still have to write a script so I can record me talking over the stop motion-animation thing which is really about my lunch. So, to sum up the things I have left to do:
- Read reader
- Do necessary writing and spaces based on readings and lecture
- Script for stop-motion animation
- Printing and stuff for my presentation at 3ish PM with Cikgu NoHumour. Honestly, why I keep getting Cikgu NoHumour is beyond me. I cannot begin to explain to you how much dread we (and I'm speaking for the class) have when we have to face said Cikgu NoHumour. But oh, well. Sabar je lah.
- Tape Melby roster ironing out of to see who's good and who's not.
- Fill in papers to give back to Sara so she can do up the contract.
- Update the blog with links to specific projects so that it's easier for everything to be accessed because I always gripe about inaccessible blogs and websites and lo, mine's a flippant mirror of it. Bah.

Oh, and I got my TFN finally. I can now do random jobs and get paid proper.
Also, I might just get an internship thingy for summer after all!

My first Raya open house in Melbourne was wonderful! I'm definitely doing it again next year. No lontong though, Nasi Kerabu pulak. :D

Anyway, my thoughts seem a little bit scattered today due to my brain relaxing but there's no rest for the wicked. I away to a full day meeting.