Who Are You? Who-who, Who-who...

Who are you when no one is around?

"I am nothing and everything in it’s entirety"

- Martrice

I read this question on Quora last night and it's so incredibly interesting. Who AM I when I'm alone?
I'm the me-est me that ever could me, that's who.

Pajamas, binging on information, multitasking.
(Speaking of multitasking, I need a second screen)
Depending on who's in the house, calm and reserved or beyond paranoid that someone was going to barge into my room and try to have a conversation about something irrelevant while I'm trying to read, do work or watch something important.

I'm what society deems as callous, withdrawn, self-absorbed, ruthlessly autodidactic, nitpicky.
No airs and no walls around me because I'm not being judged.
I decide when and how I want to feel.
I smile when I want to, I cry when I want to.
I'm gross and contented. Happy, fat and lazy.
And in my pajamas.

BUT here's the kicker. I need to go hang out because I like socialising and being at home alone saps me of my energy and mirth, I'm extroverted. I need to go outside to remind myself why I don't like most humans.

Segue to...
Inspiration porn and why it's so difficult to explain it to people.
THIS PIECE was truly witty in trying to do just that and actually does a really good job!

Which brings me to why Inspiration porn is bad...
When one is afflicted with some kind of disability, one is constantly reminded that one is an inspiration to all simply because one has the outward appearance of super positivity. Therein lies he problem. Us disabled people have now been dehumanised because we CANNOT and MUST NOT complain because it makes the average person feel bad. boo-hoo.
I know it's easy to just tell us to try and open up now, as adults. Do you know how hard it is to change something hardwired in yourself to not do because everyone else gets sensitive when you get just a little bit emotionally negative? And they ask me why I'm dead inside, why I'm so cynical. Pft. It's because of all you special snowflakes.

Overall, I can safely say I'm still beyond pissed I can't work in an office of my choosing (who've accepted me prior and I had to reject) because they didn't have the facilities for disabled people.
Do you know how bad for your body it is to not be able to drink water because going to the bathroom is hell? I know, right? Who would've thought bathrooms were one of the most important things to humankind. BUT IT IS.

Walk the talk, Malaysians. You keep saying you're for inclusive environments but I haven't seen tangible progress!

While the 30 Day Video Game Challenge is happening, I think i should post something in the interim.

I have been invited to take part in a Design Leadership Program (DLP) but d.labs run by a former boss of mine. First week has been completed and there's so much left to do

Being a 4-week intensive, we were already given several tasks to do. Simple tasks like describing myself, my work, my past projects. The most interesting one was to Draw My Future.

It's based on the TEDtalk below.

Based on what Patti said...
What I drew looked like a 5th grader took a shit on an A3 paper.

BEHOLD, MY WORK OF ART!

(click image to read)

There we go. On the left we can see that I have gone back to my generally angry and dissatisfied ways. At least anger and dissatisfaction brings about change if I fight hard enough.

Tangent: During DLP last Saturday I had the most vivid case of deja vous. I had been there before. In my dream a long, long time ago. It was funny though because I was trying to explain a concept to my team but as I was explaining, the sense of being there before hit me so hard my explanation slowed down. I felt like I saw a ghost of what was.

On a side note, I want to talk about the current reveal for a treatment drug for SMA called Spinraza.
On one hand I'm absolutely elated. On the other hand, the price it's been given doesn't bode well for any one of us. Getting treatment with an orphan drug means that I have to probably be poor. Which sucks. We hope more drugs in the pipeline gets approved soon.

NEW 30 DAY CHALLENGE

NEW CHALLENGE!

For the next 30 days, starting now, I will post on Instagram (xposted to Twitter) the 30 Day Video Game Challenge!

When it's done, I shall post it all here in one massive post. HOHO!