Happy new year, ladies and gentlemen of the internets!
It's 2015, one more year to get more things started and/or finish some old projects. On with it now.

I do this every year, sometime in the beginning, check my personality type to see if I have wavered. Thankfully, it's been the same for the past 7 years now and it makes me wonder if, when I was a child, I were the same. You can't just fall into being an ENTJ can you? Or are we just born flippant, domineering and attracted to power?

Scarily accurate information on how I think... Karl Jung, clearly you are terrifying.
http://www.16personalities.com/entj-personality

"Anyone ENTJs view as being less competent or driven will see only condescension and arrogance."

"... they also have a particular skill in calling out others' failures with a chilling degree of insensitivity."

"... ENTJ personalities keep their eyes on the long term, and if they determine that a relationship is heading towards a dead end, they will cut their losses and move on in what will seem to their partner an abrupt end to the attention they had been receiving."

"ENTJs are extremely growth-oriented, and will seize any opportunity to improve themselves, listening to and acting on criticisms, so long as they are logical ones, and always striving to improve their knowledge."

"... they pursue their friends, seek out individuals who share their passion for deep, meaningful discussions, and who enjoy learning and development as much as they do. It is not always easy to be ENTJs' friends - they demand a lot from these relationships..."

"It's not easy to stand up to a personality as big and blustery as ENTJs', and they too often find that others crumple under the force they apply when they really start to enjoy themselves."

"... failure is not an option."

"In a partnership, what is best is what is most effective, and time wasted sugarcoating reality is just that - time wasted."

"able to adapt themselves to just about any hierarchical relationship by doing what they do best: asserting their opinions, taking the initiative, and accomplishing feats that others thought impossible."

Put into perspective, if I didn't have SMA I'd be the biggest, baddest, unyieldingest asshole. hahahahaha... This disability makes me slightly less of an asshole.

Slightly je.

A Christmas poem for my youngest brother persuant to a conversation about what everyone will be having on Christmas. The rest of us will be having turkey and stuffing and all things good and wonderful.

Ariff will be having his loner donor kebab.
Oh, how we laugh.

THE KEBAB BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Ariff was hungry for a donor kebab.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

But Ariff was sad there were no kebabs there.

His friends were nestled all snug in their bed,

While visions of kebabs danced in his head.

He looked to the left to his bro in a cap,

They both left the house hunting around for kebabs.

When out to the lawn they left in such a clatter,

An open sign on the shop down the street was a-splatter.

Away to the shopfront they flew like a flash,

Barged in through the door eyes wild, hand with cash.

The dude at the counter, kebab pack in tow

Gave a donor kebab to the hungry brown fellow.

When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But also a miniature packet of chips and a beer!

With a curt smile, so lively and quick,

They thought in a moment it could be a trick.

He knew that kebabs and chips weren't a game,

And he counted the bill, and then called them by name!

"Hey Ariff! Hi, friend! Kebab, chips and a beer!

Only five pounds fifty since you're regulars!

No extra charge! And you too, Paul!

Now eat away! Eat away! Eat away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

Ariff bit into the kebab and lo, he did cry.

"DIS DONOR KEBAB IS THE BEST SHIT EVER.

WHO NEEDS A GIANT TURKEY, AND STUFFING AND GRAVY, WHATEVER!"

They sprang off their seat, to kebab bro a wave,

The shop was open today, indeed a close shave.

As they heard him exclaim, ‘ere they walked out of sight,

"I'M CLOSED TOMORROW, LADS, HAPPY CHRISTMAS, GOOD NIGHT!"

University is finally over. I've graduated. I'm designing awesome stuff, and making stuff out of other stuff and a bunch of other things... But the point is that my student life is over. I'm leaving the comforts of long holidays and mindless classes for mundane tasks. I hope for an awesome workplace but we'll see where that is.

In the mean time, I sit here staring at this blog wondering existential things like who am I, what am I doing, where am I going which led me to this video:



Who am I?

What do I do? What do I love to do? What is the one thing I feel supremely qualified to teach people?

Who do I do it for?

What do they want or need that I can give to them?

How do they change or transform as a result of what I give them?

...

I'll answer these eventually, I guess.

Blaspheme Street (Constantly Updated)

So a bunch of us came up with a special street, which if we could, we'll purchase to situate various shops with really blasphemic type names. We now present you...

BLASPHEME STREET!

The butchers: Lamb of God
Fishmongers: Cod Willing
Laundromat: Holy Sheet
Boulangerie: For The Loaf Of God!
Pizza Place: Cheeses Crust
Wine Shop: Blood Of Christ
Bookshop:
Surf, Dive and Swim Store: Farther, Sun and the Holy Coast
Maths and Science shop: Arc Angles
Juice Bar: King Of The Juice

Oh, thought catalogue, sometimes you amuse me so with how you put things (well, some of them, anyway) inside my head into lists... Like this one.

And here they are, with colour commentary.

1. You have a lot of opinions about a lot of things, and you just can’t keep them to yourself. 
   -- There's being a complete arsehole and then there's being diplomatically blunt. One makes you less of a human being, the other makes you heard. And everyone is entitled to their opinion.
2. You mean what you say and say what you mean – none of that Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus nonsense. 
   -- Your word is how you represent yourself. Words are powerful things. If you can't stick to your word then you don't have much of an integrity to begin with.
3. You never back-down from an argument. You’re not always starting them but you sure as hell finish them when necessary. 
   -- Key words: When Necessary. Often, it's to know when you're wrong and to apologise. If the other person is gearing in for a fight of mammoth proportions, why give it to them. 
4. You have really high standards for the people you choose to be around and you’re not afraid to leave behind those who cannot meet it. 
   -- Yeeeeehp, that's happened more than once.
5. You’ve got even higher standards for any person who wants to be with you, romantically. 
   -- Yeeeeeeeehp, that's DEFINITELY happened waaaaay more than too many times.
6. You’d much rather fail at doing things your way than succeed while being a people-pleaser. 
   -- I have failed many times doing it my way that it's worth taking the time to know that my way or the highway is not that great a credo. You can improve the system only when you know it inside out.
7. You do not tolerate drama but you also will stand up for yourself if the situation calls for it. 
   -- *nods*
8. You love being in charge, taking control, and anything and everything that makes you feel powerful. 
   -- As seen from today's events, that is highly evident.
9. You’re called high maintenance for knowing what you like (and what you like happens to be of finer tastes.) 
   -- Pshaaaaaaaaaaaa I'm not H.M., okay, maybe a little bit.
10. Coco Chanel, Maya Angelou, and Queen Victoria are your spirit animals. 
    -- Margaret Thatcher, actually. Queen Vic's alright too.
11. You’ve always thought aspiring to be “like a man” is something people who lack ambition do. 
    -- I have nothing to say to this. Like A man is different from THE man.
12. You are not afraid to ask your boss for a raise because you want to be paid what you deserve. 
    -- *nods*
13. When you want something, you go for it, unapologetically. 
    -- Unless there's vested interest then the status quo is kept until timing is appropriate.
14. You are not afraid to “be alone” because that is 1000 times better than getting less than what you deserve. 
    -- Yup. Refer to #5
15. In a relationship, you ask for what you need and you are willing to compromise some things, but not everything. 
    -- Compromise and understanding, amongst other things, is key to a strong relationship. That and the fact that you've made that choice to be in one, that's the bed you made. Sleep in it.
16. You make disloyal people regret their words and/or actions. 
    -- Or just leave them. I hold loyalty in very high regard, in fact, it shares the podium with honesty.
17. But you never take revenge, because you know the best revenge is success. 
    -- Cold, slow burns work way better than quick hot ones.
18. You also always forgive your enemies but like every sensible person, “you never forget their names.” 
    -- Or what they did. As Sun Tzu said, 'Know thy enemy,'
19. You don’t apologize for crying or not crying. 
    -- I DO WHAT I WANT! although, the last time I actually cried was... a while back.
20. You relish your strengths and accept your weaknesses and consider self-growth an everyday endeavor. 
    -- Oprah said you gotta keep yourself full before you can help anyone else.
21. You intimidate people with your confidence – not just men or women – people in general. 
    -- I don't know if this is true, I'd like to think I'm a cute fluffy friendly bunny.
22. You are allergic to people’s bullshit and you do not hesitate to inform them of that. 
    -- I'm allergic to drama...
23. You like to think of yourself as “not a lover or a fighter” but someone who will indeed, “fight for what and whom they love.” 
    -- Fighter. With a hero complex. :|
24. You’re not afraid of being called difficult because you know it’s just a word society uses for women who aren’t afraid to challenge the status quo. 
    -- Call me Miss Bossypants. That's right, PANTS.
25. And you are always slightly overdressed for everything. 
    -- Actually, this one is wrong. I dress comfortably. Ain't nobody I really want to impress...

Sekian.

I have two large 6mm MDF boards sitting behind a couch and I have no idea what to do with it...
I'm giving one to Grets so that she can have a go at mosaic art... That leaves the other, bigger one. Paint it black and draw on it with white marker? But what?

I could do a giant doodle, write a really long poem and arrange it as an image, tell a story, do something escher-esque, a collage, a painting, a collage-painting, a sculpture piece?

Something geometric, something monochrome, something done in an array of colours. Play with floam and spray paint it (Actually this sounds like fun considering I have a large amount of foam clay), something adapted from a photograph I'd taken, things in small grids ( I LOVE GRIDS), zentangles?

So many options, TOO many options.

Also,
What do I want to do with my life? I want to feed people.

That's all there is to it, isn't there. I want to feed people. With great food.
If I didn't have SMA3 I'd probably have gone to culinary school, graduated and be halfway up to head chef by now.

Whooop! 5 Images for the thesis... You could say it's a teaser, sort of.

The retail mall is a central component of contemporary urban capitalist environments as it supports and promotes a thriving economy. These spaces have become an important part of a city’s infrastucture that supports both commerce and social interaction.

Unfortunately, as malls prioritise sales and its shareholders over the consumer, there is a loss of community through a deliberate sensory isolation of the individual. This creates a negative spatial interaction within thresholds, a negative social interaction within the immediate environment and a lack of social and spatial awareness within the community.

This project, located at the Emporium Mall in conjunction with the Melbourne Music Week, aims to create an interaction between these individuals and the site as a direct response to the issues mentioned above.

Because sound is such an important part of our senses, it will be used as a medium to be engaged with in the space. Aside from providing an interesting point of focus for passers by to enter into the establishment, it acts as a magnifying glass exposing the hidden agendas of the corporate capitalist mega-entity.

Also, list of thanks thus far (Y'all gonna get a present for helping me so much -- also continuously being updated).

Kate C, for being the most awesome and helpful contact in the establishment.

Tijana, you're literally like member number 2 for this thesis.

Greta, for being the most wonderful housemate ever.

Chuan, for your help with the techery and arduino programming.

Bob, also for help in all forms of techery and messing around with the rig.

The Squisito boys and girls, for letting me just hang out and have meetings at the cafe.

Meera, Ash, Nas, Alif, Danny, May, on the home-front for keeping me sane through all my ranting/crying/needy-nak-mampos sessions

True facts about the Sha... Actually it's 20 random (also true) facts about me which some delightful person tagged me on but I can't be arsed to tag anyone else so it ends up here.

So here it goes:

1. I'm trying to swear less because it seems that I've been swearing a tad too much. Language is power and when you decide to abandon your vocabulary by using vulgar words to represent your thoughts, you allow your own power to be diminished.
2. I tire of this city and long for the streets of KL, the food, my friends... And/or a nicely paid job.
3. I wear size 6 shoes. I actually hate wearing shoes.
4. Right now, I am procrastinating. Obviously.
5. I am sometimes the beacon of positivity but the giver of very little f*s.
6. Sometimes that beacon of positivity runs out of battery and the very little f*s I have turn into a very large and unceremonious amount of rage. If that happens, stay away from me because I will verbally cut you down.
7. I cannot understand why people love conflict. I prefer conflict resolution. IMMEDIATE conflict resolution. Often to my favour.
8. I don't like the cold. At all. When it's cold, anger and reluctance to do anything happens.
9. I like feeding people. If I feed them they'll get fat and can't run away from me... hahahahahaha Only rolling. Oooooonly rolling.
10. I love food.
11. I can secretly pigsqueal but my deathgrowls are subpar
12. I looooooove music. Selectively.
13. I wish my parents made me learn an instrument.
14. I'm like an M&M... I have a hard coating with gooey chocolatey goodness inside. No. No, I'm not. I lied. I'm a walnut.
15. I'm really unsure about whether or not I'll land on my feet when people have to carry me.
16. I'm afraid of 3 thing: My mother, failing at being awesome, my feelings.
17. My family is ALWAYS my priority. Second to myself, of course. As Oprah said:
    
    
     "You don't have anything to give that you don't have. So you have to keep your own self full, that's your job... I say to my girls all the time that your real work is to figure out where your power base is and to work on the alignment of your personality, your gifts that you have to give, with the real reason why you're here. That's the #1 thing you have to do, is to work on your self and to FILL. YOUR. SELF. UP. AND. KEEP. YOUR. CUP. FULL... I consider it a complement that I am full of myself because only when you're full -- I'm full, I'm overflowing, my cup runneth over -- I have so much to offer and so much to give and I am not afraid of honouring myself... So, the ability to take care of that, to honour that, to honour yourself and that which is greater than yourself, that which was the reason for your being here, there is no selflessness in that because only through that do you have the ability to offer yourself. Your WHOLE self, your full expression of who you are to the rest of the world."
    
    

    Therefore, I am always number one.
18. I love boardgames and games in general but I'm in hardly any hurry to win at any of them. It's totally okay if I lose. I'd rather let someone else win.
19. I enjoy watching really well drawn cartoons and my sense of humour is... a little bit off kilter.
20. I could probably live without the internet... But I really don't want to.

Saturday morning, up at nine-ish. Chores done quick, had some juice, now staring into a blank white canvas. The sounds of keys on the laptop transcribes the slew of words jumbled in my mind. Less clear, more like a tornado spun around and flipped everything.

The sun is shining which helps the cat catch some rays and some z's, lucky little suncatcher. The lyrics of Seven Collar T-Shirt's Foreigner rings in my head while I occasionally sing along.

"The last time that I spoke to her 

She wouldn’t let her guard down, 

I’ll be yours if you stay mine"

Her, him... him. Him. The last time that I spoke to him? REALLY spoke to him was a good year ago. The only reason I reminisce was a Saturday morning trigger. What a way to start the day. Thinking back, it was fun while it lasted.

The Little Bitch Cookbook. By Ash, Meersy and Sha.

A cookbook with occasional swearing, talking like posh people, references to pop culture and the key things to make delicious food good enough to get you into bed (wink-wink-nudge-bdge-knowwhatImean?).

This sounds like an absolutely brilliant idea. Starting... NOW!

Aside from this, I am ojbviously procrastinating so here's a little survey thing I found:

Name Your Favorite…

1. Place: Kuala Lumpur
2. Person: Me? But seriously, I have favourite PEOPLES so picking one would be a nightmare!
3. Colour: Red
4. Food: Not Applicable
5. Smell: Kaffir Lime Leaves that you've scrunched up in your hands.
6. Book: Odds & Gods by Tom Holt
7. Movie: Robin Hood Men In Tights
8. Music artist: That's a tough one...
9. Genre of music: Metal
10. Genre of literature: Comedy
11. Magazine: The Economist
12. Texture: Unfinished woodgrain
13. Time of day: About 8PM
14. Day of the week: Sundays
15. Tumblr: None
16. Thing to do when bored: I do that thing called the INTERNETS!
17. Celebrity: Stephen Hawking, does that count?
18. Class in school: P.E. since I was exempt from it.
19. Website: TEDtalks
20. Drink: Water
21. Precious stone: Diamonds? Since it's my birthstone?
22. Animal: Tiger, rawr!
23. Flower: Torch Ginger
24. Time in history: The time they invented the wheel
25. Font: Advent and Balham
26. Video game: Crash Bandicoot
27. TV show: I have no idea
28. Play: Spamalot
29. Sound: Laughter
30. Fruit: I like all the fruits!
31. Vegetable: I can't choose!
32. Store/shop: Don't have one.
33. Article of clothing you own: A t-shirt that says "Protect your nuts"
34. Fashion/style: Laid back and comfy
35. Pattern: Paisley
36. Workout: Anything in the Pool
37. Quote: Veni, Vidi, Vici.
38. Historical figure: That dude who decided silicone would make great boobs, kidding.
39. Boy’s name: Mikael
40. Girl’s name: Kali
41. Potato chip flavor: Salt and Vinegar
42. Meal of the day: Dinner
43. Ice cream flavor: Chocolate Chip Mint
44. Soda: Orange soda
45. Popcorn flavor: Salted Caramel
46. Season: Summer
47. Month of the year: April
48. Word: Meow
49. Disney princess: Ariel
50. Insult: "You illiterate shitdick!"
51. Joke: Puns
52. Cussword: Puki
53. Letter: A
54. YouTube channel: Zachariah Scott?
55. Eye color: Brown
56. Memory: *giggles*
57. Dessert: Sago Gula Melaka
58. Candy: Lindt 65% dark chocolate
59. Restaurant: Suzi's
60. Lifehack: Putting leftover lemon juice in cube trays.
61. Language: Kelantanese
62. Thing to learn about: Everything
63. Thing about yourself: Everything. No joke, dude.