Malaysia is a weird country.
We do everything to protect disabled children and try to let them grow healthy and strong and smart.
BUT once they are grown they aren't allowed the ability to find work they want in the companies that have accepted them BECAUSE these companies aren't accessible and don't have disabled friendly facilities.
They aren't allowed to be independent BECAUSE everything around them wasn't made to allow them to do things themselves.
So how then, you've raised a disabled child to believe in themselves but society hasn't fought enough for equal rights to life and living because adults aren't as important as children.

When I think of this, I come to a conclusion that you should have let us die.

Also,
I just found out that Malaysia is a State signatory of the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities which I find interesting because nothing is done to follow this pun.

Also, someone wrote an entire Journal on Employment of PWD in Malaysia: Drivers and Inhibitors and it looks like there's more inhibitors than there are drivers.

________________________________
Today we talk about mobility devices that have allowed PWDs to explore terrains in non-conventional wheelchairs.

http://www.delichon.uk/shop/hippocampe/beach-wheelchairs

Soooooooooo Inspirationaaaal...

Nak marah jap. Prepare your eyes for capslock swearing.

I warned you.

I hate inspiration porn when it comes to PWDs (like me) being objectified because wooopdeedooooo we're doing something that abled people can do because woooooooo we're disabled.

WE'RE DISABLED BECAUSE YOU SICK FUCKS DON'T GIVE A FAT FLYING SHIT ABOUT UNIVERSAL ACCESS!

One example is when people go "please vote for this video because blablablabla" and the video is showcasing a bunch of PWDs being afforded a few days of diving by some nice people who think they're making the world a better place because look at me, I'm helping. Wooooo~

NO YOU'RE NOT HELPING. YOU'RE JUST MAKING FUCKING INSPIRATION PORN SO YOU ABLED PEOPLE CAN JUSTIFY NOT BEING A BUNCH OF LAZY GITS.

Let me explain to you how inspiration porn works.

Average lazy human being stumbles across a post that showcases a PWD doing the thing that they're supposed to be doing but it's a bit harder (but they have to do it anyway because life). Average lazy human sees/watches this and starts going "Oh, man... If this crippled can do it, why can't I? I should be able to do this right cos I'm abled."

I want to slap you so hard with your privilege. 

(https://youtu.be/UD-y6u5YbWE)

Click the link if you must.

So I wrote a response but I don't think anyone will have a second pass at it. Here's my schtick:

If you want to oggle inspiration porn, I'd like you to put yourself in our shoes. Which of our needs are not met within your locale and how do you fix it?

Go out there and find ways to make it a better place for all of us to interact with and experience.

Seek help in making it a safer, more accessible place for all of us.

Let me tell you a little secret.

Anyone and everyone can become disabled, and often, suddenly. So, no, don't get off your little high horse but think of the day where that horse bucks and you lie in a pool of stupid with your broken legs.

Then will you start thinking about what we have to go through as a PWD... because you're one too.

Driving Miss Angry

I want to drive a car.

To have a car but not be able to drive it is hands down one of the most frustrating things in the world.
Then I found out that Hospital Rehab Cheras has a Driving Simulator.

Catch 1: Right now the driving sim is broken and we don't know when it'll be fixed.
Because the government agencies are famous for tardiness... unless we have to pay them for summons or whatever. Bastards.

Catch 2: The driving sim operates on a pull-push system for acceleration and breaks which I find a bit clunky so I did some research.

EMC AEVIT 2.0
This system is used heavily in the US to enable people with various disabilities, the ones I saw were paraplegics who wanted to function normally without the absolute help from others which I also need. Autonomy is king! SOVEREIGNITY IS KING!!!

It doesn't use a push-pull system but instead a series of monitors and joystick type things... it looks super easy to work with and also very close to how a game pad works... This is good. Why?
Because I can drive in videogames.

Catch 3: Getting into and out of the car.
I don't have the typical wheelchairs that you can drive into the car and start driving straight up because I use a Travelscoot. It's more like a tiny motorised tricycle which means I have to get off it and go towards the front of my car, maybe with the aid of crutches. How do I load up the car with the scooter?

Something like this... Hoist lifts (This one's called the Armstrong Lift but I expect there to be more types out there).



Because I have issues with sit to stand, getting into the car will not be a problem provided it's a car close to my height getting out on the other hand... maybe a little bit more difficult. What systems can I put in place to make sure I can get in and out safely? (Aside from getting a tall-ish car straight off the bat). I think my only option is to have a slighly taller car. It's also good so people don't bully you on the road which is always an issue in Malaysia.


...
I think having all these mods would definitely make it amazingly easy for me to drive. It also makes it a very attainable goal. Cheers to me! If this works out, we'll figure out how to monetise this so that other OKUs can drive too.

VIVAMUS MOBILITATEM!

I really can't complain about the life I have because I have a roof over my head, food on the table, I don't want for needs and my family unit is intact.

BUT that doesn't mean I am obliged to be in a good mood 100% of the time. I'm never in a good mood, I'm just really good at lying to general society. I hate most people and being a nihilist, alive is really just a race to being very, very, VERY dead.

Sorry, kids. When you die, you just die. You're not a special snowflake who was born to be a messiah. You're in my way and you should get a move on quickly. Just be a socially acceptable human being to the best of your ability and try not to murder anyone.

'Why?' is a question I always ask yet nobody has given me an absolute answer.

Let's just say today's main bulk of this post will go into the personal journal and the only other update is a link that's making me quite annoyed. But I'm on the rag so anything and everything is going to make me quite annoyed. Hell, I'm annoyed right now.

Here's the offending link.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/08/to-the-women-who-are-never-the-one/

Now, I'm not saying it's a bad thing, I'm just annoyed that society has, yet again, made it the utmost importance that we all mosey along our lives, expand ridiculous amounts of energy to find 'the one' and pair up. Might I stress that, yes, it is our genetic imperative -- being a part of an evolutionary species -- to procreate. I get that. BUT why make up some mumbo jumbo about there being any one particular person for another one particular person? Bit shit.

Eugh. Also had a really bad meal. What a crap night.

... Alright, everything's been unloaded. Time for some games.

To make your night (or whenever you're reading this) infinitely more entertaining, do google Samurai Crab and Fried Egg Jellyfish.

On a more less amused note:

"Do one new thing every day!"
Okay, sure. But I also have a few things to add that is non negotiable.

I need the activity to be wheelchair friendly.
I need the activity to be mentally stimulating.
I need the activity to be easy to get to.
I need the activity to be available when I am.
Also, I would probably need an entourage.

Yes, life isn't as easy as walking out the door for some of us so be thankful for everything you have and don't be a prick about it.

Also, also, my phone decided to take a swim so I'm now on the hunt for a replacement phone.

"Look at yourselves. Some of you teenagers, students. How do you think I feel and I belong to a generation ahead of you - how do you think I feel to have to tell you, 'We, my generation, sat around like a knot on a wall while the whole world was fighting for its human rights - and you've got to be born into a society where you still have that same fight.' What did we do, who preceded you? I'll tell you what we did. Nothing. And don't you make the same mistake we made..."

-Malcolm X

I like this quote very much. It reminds me to fight. To move. To be brave. To want change. To make change.

Nobody has solutions but everyone's a critic. If I don't start then who will?

I know I haven't been posting much but life happens. Life being going out and seeing people and... eating.

Aside from that.... I read. A LOT. Not just books but self-helpy type articles on the interwebs and I keep the good ones for future references.

Here's one that I find absolutely golden.

Take backs:
- A list of 10 things I'm absolutely afraid of.
- MUSTS are non negotiable, but they are very easy to lose sight of so you always have to reel yourself back in and reassess your life.
- Don't be an entitled lazy prick.

All of these I want to do with Meersy and Ash, a sort of "Sit down and let's talk about life," kind of thing. It's great bonding tools, truly.

On a more pressing note, RAMPS, MALAYSIA (specifically, Kuala Lumpur)!!! Not a difficult thing to have and it also means people with physical disabilities can get into places! Inclusivity, yo.

I'm not going to write everything in caps because it's hard t read but know that I'm very angry and extremely disappointed as I'm voicing this out.

RUMA, the RMIT Malaysian Committee, held a Mooncake festival celebration. And it was shit.

We'll start with the welcoming booth where you pay and collect a sad excuse of a stub called a ticket. I reached the specified location with Meng and stood around looking for a place to register for about five to ten minutes, lost and confused, we peered around and I smiled at a person at the table pretty sure it was where we were supposed to sign up. Apparently, to boothgirl, smiling at her is offensive and she quickly turned away, she even went out of her way to speak with her friend. Boothgirl, I usually tell peple you can't possibly fuck up a booth job but you took the cake. All you had to do was to go to people loitering around the immediate space and ask "Excuse me, are you here for the Mooncake thing?" was that too hard? Do you speak English? AND THEN POINT US TO THE FUCKING RIGHT DIRECTION!
RUMA Boothgirl(s) is fucking thick!

Then I stood around with Meng, whom was also looking bored, trying to pinpoint who were committee and who weren't. Fucking impossible. A simple "Hi, my name is..." sticker wasn't hard, or a band on their arm, or matching coloured shirts, ANYTHING to allow us fellows to figure out who knows shit so we can ask!
President of RUMA is fucking thick.

After a while, like cows, we were herded to the uni canteen (la cantina). I say cows because we were really herded there and there was just shouting, all that was missing is a movable electric fence and/or cattleprods.
The RUMA committee is fucking thick.

In la cantina, the situation was loud, rambunctious and generally feeling like a shitty convention -- not the fun kinds where people are having fun, the kind where everyone is pretentious and one upping each other. Instead of planning for some sort of podium, having a proper welcome speech to greet the newcomers who arrived in time for the move to la cantina, and mostly apologising for the lack of food, The speakers shouted through a megaphone at a us, we were talking, like some sort of dumbfuck who's never been in a public situation and knows how to tune down a crowd before. If you opened your speech and keep talking we would eventualy quiet the fuck down! DON'T EVER BE IN FRONT WITH A MEGAPHONE AND YELL. You're fucking loud enough we just don't think you have the caliber or social grace to give a fucking ear to.
The speakers were fucking thick.

Games. Games are alright during a get-together such as this but fucking get the right games, man! Charades? REALLY? What the fuck kind of childhood did you have anyway? Charades. There are a multitude of ice-breaking games out there and you pick the game that most people are only comfortable doing in front of their close friends? FOR CHRISSAKES! AND! you don't EVER break into specific groups and singly explain the rules you FUCKING ACT THEM OUT AS A TEAM! People learn better watching something being done instead of getting verbal instructions because that is easily forgotten!
Again, the RUMA committee is fucking thick.

We were then allowed to eat. A simple quip on the event page inviting people to hit attend because 'once you have RSVP'd attending you will be given a ticket stub on site to allow yourself to redeem a delicious Malaysian meal!' That's all you fucking thick-knobs had to do. Instead, you opted to inform select individuals (you didn't even fucking use that megaphone, you fuck) that there was a line specifically for stub-holders. I didn't know what was going on and THAT FAT FUCK OF AN EXCUSE FOR A COMMITTEE MEMBER IGNORED ME when I tried to ask what was going on.
The committee and the fat fucking fuck are fucking thick.

FINALLY,
1. My table, with Meng and I, were quickly ignored and we weren't given any mooncakes. FUCK YOU.
2. Nobody went to speak to the side-liners, nobody brought tables together to get to know each other. FUCK YOU
3. We didn't know who the committee were, I would have liked to know who was running this shithole of a committee.
4. You, the RUMA committee, call yourselves the Malaysian representatives in RMIT but you have no social grace, you're rude, arrogant, unwelcoming and about as engaging as chewing tin-foil. FUCK YOU.
Fucking thick fucks.

I AM ASHAMED OF YOU.
I have never seen such dismal organisation before.

No need to be so lansi la kanasai. Party also don't know how to manage.
Score: -5/10. yes, minus five because FUCK YOU.

I'm going to run for the RUMA chair next year and show you fucking freshies how an organisation SHOULD be run. That's assuming it's not a popularity contest and an actual test of who actually CAN and HAS run organisations.

Fellow Malaysians of RMIT, I am your woman, vote for me!

As most of you know, I have a deep love for mythology and cryptozoology and so would spend hours on checking out these random things.

Anyway, I've got nothing but hatred for my downstairs neighbour who seems to be trying to cry out her shitty, insignificant boyfriend issues out on the balcony so I have full access to said shitty, insignificant boyfriend issues. I will write a nice little note telling her to STFU when it's past 12PM and to have a little respect for the other apartments. Your shit, I can hear it. And how I'm deeply irritated by her low bitrate 'music' disgustingly emanating from, most probably, her arse. If it were the weekend I wouldn't mind as much but for fuck's sake it's Wednesday night. I know I don't have uni tomorrow but I like my quiet nights mainly because of how QUIET it is. RARGH.

Some 100 random questions for you:

Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
"... Students facing difficulties with RMIT whether it be related to their studies or those who are encountering..."

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can, What can you touch?
The window pane. It's cold.

Before you started this survey, what were you doing?
As you can see from what I have written above, I was busy being pissed at my downstairs neighbour who's a bit of a disrespectful little shit.

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
I haven't watched the telly in yonkssssss...

Without looking, guess what time it is
1:30AM...

Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
1:36AM.

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The noisy fucking neighbour and some police cars that just passed by. But mostly the noisy fucking neighbour.

When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
I was last out a couple of hours ago at a friend's Cafe being a lovely person and making glue out of cornstarch.

Did you dream last night?
Yes

Do you remember your dreams?
Not really.

When did you last laugh?
A couple of hours ago.

Do you remember why / at what?
9gag... Godzilla Firefox.

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Off-white paint. We're not allowed to stick shit on the walls, you see.

Seen anything weird lately?
Yes.

What do you think of this quiz?
I hate this particular question. Why are you asking, little quiz? Are you not sure of yourself? Are you so insecure that you need constant affirmation? Love yourself, little quiz, for you are beautiful.

What is the last film you saw?
My Idiot Brother. Honestly, there's a great decay in movies now.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
France

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
A nasi lemak.

Tell me something about you that most people don't know.
Now, why the hell would I relinquish my mysteries on the internets?

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Religion needs to go for the sake of scientific and moral progression.

Do you like to dance?
Yes. I do that by shaking my bum.

Would you ever consider living abroad?
I already am living abroad.

Does your name make any interesting anagrams?
Apparently it does...
"A a sh I"
We do not know what this means. Thank you, anagram generator for this profound find.

Who made the last incoming call on your phone?
David... Asking what time I was going to go to the Cafe. He was so tired at the end of it all the poor thing.

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Oh, god... Let's see... Freeware probably.

Last time you swam in a pool?
Early this year

Type of music you like most?
Metal

Type of music you dislike most?
Things that go oonce-oonce-dush-dush...

Are you listening to music right now?
No.

What color is your bedroom carpet?
Boring Beige

If you could change something about your home, without worry about expense or mess, what would you do?
HUUUUUUUUUUGE KITCHEN.

What was the last thing you bought?
That. Is a very good question... Oh! Stuff for the wall mural.

Have you ever ridden on a motorbike?
Yes. when I was but a wee child.

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
I'm going skydiving in May!!! WOOOOOOO!

Do you have a garden?
No, and I don't do well gardening...

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
Yes, I do.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning?
Depending on what day it is and what time it is, it could range from "FAHK," to "GOOOOOOOOD MORNING, WORLD! PREPARE TO BEND OVER,"

If you could eat lunch with one famous person, who would it be?
Steven Hawking.

Who sent the last text message you received?
David... Again about the me coming over to the cafe...

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Any gadget store...

What time is bed time?
When my eyelids feel heavy and my work is done.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No... The world's thwarted and decayed sense of beauty will not let me.

How many tattoos do you have?
NONE.

If you don't have any, have you ever thought of getting one?
Yes, I have thought about it but you, internet stalkers, will never know.

What did you do for your last birthday?
One of my favourite people tried to give me a surprise party but that failed because I came back too early!

Do you carry a donor card?
A what card?

Who was the last person you ate dinner with?
David... He had two bites off my foods. Why is everyone on some kind of diet?!

Is the glass half empty or half full?
Realist: The glass is filled with 50% liquid and 50% gas. Ergo, it is always full.

What's the farthest-away place you've been?
With respect to what exactly?

When's the last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Gawd... I don't even remember!

Have you ever won a trophy?
Yes.

Are you a good cook?
Yes.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?
I don't even have a car...

If you could meet any one person (from history or currently alive), who would it be?
The Prophet Muhammad.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school?
Yes.

Do you touch-type?
Sometimes. Though it doesn't work as well in the dark, as silly as that may sound.

What's under your bed?
Air.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
I believe that you can lust for someone at first sight but love takes a lot of time.

Think fast, what do you like right now?
Ice-cream. This doesn't make sense because I had ice-cream this afternoon.

Where were you on Valentine's day?
On site, being the charming person I always am.

What time do you get up?
At an appropriate time.

What was the name of your first pet?
Tom :D

Who is the second to last person to call you?
My landlord...

Is there anything going on this weekend?
Hot damn, I can't remember. Probably.

How are you feeling right now?
I need cuddles.

What do you think about the most?
How much I need cuddles...

What time do you get up in the morning?
Wasn't this question asked a few questions ago?

If you had A Big Win in the Lottery, how long would you wait to tell people?
Do I have to tell people?

Who would you tell first?
My parents...

What is the last movie that you saw at the cinema?
21 Jump Street. Surprisingly awesome!

Do you sing in the shower?
Not usually.

Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
REPEATED!

What do you do most when you are bored?
Wonder what I could do to not be bored.

What do you do for a living?
Try to not die.

Do you love your job?
It keeps me alive.

What did you want to be when you grew up?
A mad scientist. I wanted to genetically engineer a Pegasus.

If you could have any job, what would you want to do/be?
A successful Restauranter.

Which came first the chicken or the egg?
A velociraptor.

How many keys on your key ring?
One

Where would you retire to?
Anywhere I want.

What kind of car do you drive?
I don't drive!

What are your best physical features?
Me in entirety. Okay, my bum.

What are your best characteristics?
How lovely I am.

If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go?
I would want to go everywhere.

What kind of books do you like to read?
Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Comedy and all three mixed into one genre of awesome. British writers are the snazzyballs!

Where would you want to retire to?
REEEEEEPEAAAAAAAT!

What is your favorite time of the day?
Hammer time.

Where did you grow up?
Ampang, yo. In a house.

How far away from your birthplace do you live now?
Oh, a hop, skip and a jump in another frigging continent.

What are you reading now?
These series of redudant questions. And Ben Elton's Dead Famous.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?
Given that it's 2:10AM. I would say night.

Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
No.

Can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?
Yes. What an odd question.

Do you have pets?
Yash.

How many rings before you answer the phone?
I pick up as soon as I realise it's ringing.

What is your best childhood memory?
Being a kid and doing kid things and then getting into the biggest trouble.

What are some of the different jobs that you have had in your life?
Clerk, Personal Assistant, Tour Executive, Legal Attache, Interior Design Intern, Volunteer Herder, Event Managing Consultant, Media Researcher and I can't remember anything else.

Any new and exciting things that you would like to share?
I HAVE A DREAM.

What is most important in life?
Family and friends.

What Inspires You?
The parental units because, really, they've put up with so much of my shit it's amazing.

Congratts it you made it all the way to the end of this post. Here's a cookie.

It's not a good thing when you act as council for many but are too afraid to let go of your own insecurities and ego to tell someone else about your issues. You fear being judged by your peers and you think that your problems, compared to the rest of the planet, are insignificant. You'd think my only demon was SMA3. Wrong. My demons hide behind that cheap trick of an excuse. I just keep them locked up pretty good.

The cage? A preppy smile and a song in my voice.
But it really all is just a big 'fuck you' to the world.

UNIVERSE, Y U NO...

On a happier more beautiful and made me tear up, maybe, note:



Well done, guy who did this!

2012 is upon us and I have resolutions.

1. To be more direct with my feelings.

2. To stop (Actually do less of it, not cease completely) protecting people from their own vices, from their flaws, from other people's judgements towards them.
I have to stop making excuses for other people's bad behaviour when the topic turns up in another conversation. I am not their mothers. I am their friend. Everyone has flaws.

BUT.

What I dont like is when my friends tokkok about my other friends like they know each other when I've only let them be around each other a few times. If you want to tokkok, tok la... as long as there's truth in your words and not just your inaccurate, condescending and highly subjective point of view, please, could you just STFU. I will tell you honestly that ALL the people around me who are around me by their own accord are lovely and have a heart of gold and you have to remember that they too have flaws because they're human. So when these alleged flaws are impressed upon I WILL protect them for they have been unduly judged by those not of their peers.

3. Get rid of redundant people in my circle.

Honestly, this world is quick moving and result oriented. I'm not going to lie and say that I'm a peace loving hippy living here on planet earth to just trip and do nothing but exist in my own state of nothingness. No. I have an amazing future to work forward to with the people I know who can work WITH me. An empire will be built with an amazing group of people I hold dear. No, not all of them will be high flyers but they are an important member or society and will be the movers and shakers of the future.

Momo called me out on my classist/strata-ist nature but I say that it's not the social class/strata that I hate, it's the fact that they they have that particular class mentality. Complacency and this idea that things will be the status quo forever, the inability to look past tomorrow, or plan for something, or live for something, or to even realise that material posessions do not make a man or woman. It makes you dispensable, unimportant and insignificant because you become a product for the mass market, the capitalist society that we live in. Their gods are not supreme beings. Their gods are inanimate THINGS! I find it disgusting. They ARE the Soylent Green!

4. Work smarter, play wiser and be thankful for everything.
Life is not just about work. Life is about striving for better things while enjoying also being alive. Life is also about being thankful for the things you have that you needed because the things you want you can get later.

5. Plan. Plan. Plan.
If you fail to plan. you plan to fail..

I am procrastinating with a British accent in my head! WOOOOOOOOO!

Also, checking AirAsia flights back to KL for December. Home and the monsoon season. Home and good friends and fantastic food... And my cat.

But I am severely reluctant to go on the plane because it's a lot of waiting. I don't like waiting at all.
It's just a long list of waiting. Waiting to go on transit, waiting to get to the airport, waiting to check in, waiting to get into the gate, waiting for the plane to arrive, waiting for the passengers to get off the plane, waiting for the cabin crew to clean up and prepare for the next horde, waiting for gate to open, waiting in line to get tickets checked, waiting to get to seat, waiting to arrive wherever, waiting for the seat-belt sign to turn off, waiting for food, waiting for next movie, waiting for movie to end, waiting for captain to stop yammering about how high in the air we are, waiting to fall into an uncomfortable nap, waiting for the plane to dock, waiting to get off the plane, waiting in customs, waiting for the car and finally waiting to get home. It's just a long list of waiting to do something. Have I mentioned I hate waiting and yet I procrastinate. Surprise, surprise.

I have stumbled upon a lovely band called Twelve Foot Ninja. So brilliant. SO BRILLIANT I think I have fallen in love again. hahahahah... I fuckin love ninja costumed bands. And oh, so funneh.

Reading an article on The Economist has made me realise that a greater part of society has since responded to marriage either by delaying it for much later or denying it outright. It's a scary thought to have if in a few decades children will be few for those in the higher income bracket, a majority of expensive and elitist schools will close down leaving the remainder the given authority to become more expensive and more elitist, education as a business will become a long lost and highly outdated business plan and there will somehow be more people with less IQ and EQ on the planet. It reminds me, rather horrifically, of the movie Idiocracy.

The article writes that a majority of these marriage delays and rejections are by women in the higher income and education bracket, and of which, a large number of come from Asian countries. What really is going on is the rejection of the male dominated society where the man does nothing and his wife does everything. The onset of education and equal rights have given women a reason to say no to a lifetime of servitude to men who have been coddled by society.

I quote from a friend, Abby, who Tweeted "So weird, mom always make me look like I don't help enough. But the boys at home seems like they don't need to help at all. Equality much." and shortly after "Oh, anak lelaki tak payah buat kerja. Lelaki. Perempuan je kena buat kerja. Okay." (Oh, sons don't have to do work. Men. Only women have to do work. Okay.)

It's this general and very outdated consensus that men, as the primary breadwinner, suffers the stress of bringing home the proverbial bacon while the wife sits at home solely to raise children, clean the house and cook a meal. WRONG. A majority of the women I know are successful business owners who have decided that a career is more important and that they want to build and empire on solid ground before embarking on the creation of a family and a brood of children that will cost at least half a million each. Children and marriage is an expensive endeavour if you want to do it right.

So, my point is that if the menfolk want their wives, the share of chores will have to be divided equally, just as our Western counterparts. Otherwise we'll go on saying 'Tak nak' to marriage.

I remember a time when Ashie and I made Radish Leaf Pesto which we adapted without remorse from a recipe found on the internet. It had peanut butter, cloves of garlic, salt, blue cheese, olive oil, and of course radish leaves. It was delicious. I do intend to make it again, this time as a dipping sauce and/or spread for breads since the last time I made it, it had fared weakly with pasta. Maybe more garlic, perhaps? And add a dash of pepper or chilli flakes for the extra bite.

I have lunch sorted out for tomorrow, and dinner should be a tomato soup BUT I don't have any cream or chicken stock, but whatever, I have made with less and it still tasted divine. It's time to do a fridge-raid tomato soup.  Oh, and I have run out of bread. I had to chuck some out because things were starting to grow out of it.

I have forgotten what else to add into the three-hundred word essay due on Friday morning. Six sketches still left to do and another batch of sculpture-photograph-drawing based on a poem about sleep. It's a lot dark for such a beautiful concept. Sleep clears your mind, mends your body and transports you into a realm only your subconscious can define, that even you cannot begin to comprehend. It's like being underwater but without the Darth Vader breathing apparatus: The regulator.

Was it really minus-two last night? I did have trouble sleeping but mainly due to some bad teh-tarik. Surely not from the cold. Also, I had a cuppa at 4PM which means the caffeine is still surging through my veins like a glorified bad-ass. Dear, my, I'm rambling.

Puasa coming up. I have the timetable for puasa times already, ready to go. I have a religion, it's called Islam. It means 'peace'. Being a Muslim means that how I practice MY religion is my own and only God may judge me so shut your trap and go spew your self-righteous bullshit somewhere else. Leave me to my meanderings and my rights or wrongs and let me not hear of your misconceptions and hypocricy because I don't want to get all up in a bunch during my zen time. Also, the lecturers better not merapu extra or I might have a little trouble being forgiving with my tongue. Not that I'll be any different anyway, ha-ha.

The problem with people is that you no longer have the perfect few whom you could spend hours verbally sparring with. The wit, the wisdom, the nonsense. The stabbing, the lasers and eventually the giggles of amusement between the parties involved.

Nothing below the belt, we all knew what that entails. If one did hit below, a stern warning or the phrase "That was too much," would be shot out faster than you can make the 'omg sorry' face. We knew the rules. Well, we used to know the rules.

Now, everyone's scattered across the globe. Friendships broken and lost, new ones formed but without the dynamics of a gaggle of misfits with the wit of kings. The dynamics between the two people vary from male to female and the inbetweeners. In other words, they each knew how the rest worked. We knew which buttons to push and which not to. We knew the big red sign that said 'DO NOT TOUCH' and we didn't touch it because that would mean trouble.

There was the few awkward glances when a stern warning wasn't raised. The dysfunctional silence where none of us knew what to respond with. The simple end remark. The closing words. Those uttered when all you wanted to do was to giggle at the words previously being thrown around lavishly. Then there were the flashbacks of what he said, she said, they said and when and whether or not it was relevant to the topic or just drivvel from the mouth of the nonsensical yet timely entertainer.

Use it or lose it is the phrase of the day. Use it I haven't and losing it I am, albeit slowly. So slow in fact I am beginning to suffer. I miss those people. Those few who were just so ridiculously witty you could fall in love with their mind.

I don't even have proper nonsense contests anymore. I sigh in disdain at the state of things in present times. Hopefully the timely change will flip the switch back to the amount of rapier wit I had acquireed within the three years of highschool. The barrage of insanity, I hope does not stop. Never. A mind continuously churning for better things to chew on. If it had a mouth.

GenY, or since I read the wiki page on it 5 minutes ago, Echo Boomers. Sounds kind of cool -- Echo Boomers.
Eh-koh-bewmerrs.

You can spot us through our ever changing and fleeting interests, headphones blaring in our ears, how we pick things up as fast as we forget what it's for, how we spout nonsensical facts about Politics and Religion and how we claim to know ourselves inside out. But. Is that really true?

I had recently acquired a two day stint in massaging a space within a shopping mall -- and I'm not sure how many times I've told people how much I dislike shopping malls -- and part of the criteria would be the ability to attract my fellow EchoBoomers.

Let me point out the most obvious thing about EchoBoomers, we are more individualistic than the GenX which makes isolating various groups a daunting task at its best because you can't make everyone happy all the time, hell, you can't even make everyone happy some of the time. So what's the best bet? Make some people happy all of the time? Possibly so. Sadly, though, that option gives rise to the biggest problem of my generation. Sure, we no longer are in the pursuit of freedom and love and pot, instead we strive to be in all the time.We want to be seen, we want to be heard, we want to be better than you and have you hate us and love us at the same time. It's one of those strange things in life where hyper-individuality gives rise to Sheeple. One person makes a trend and the rest follow, hoping within all hope that they may surpass the original style-setters. Wishful thinking on their part because what really happens is that the original style-setters get bigger and bigger because what they really do is feed on the envy/love of their fellow limelight whores.

Meh.

There's 80 MILLION of us, maybe more, born between 1982 to 1994-95. We vary in our trending interest and our herded attitudes, maybe about 10% of us actually don't give a shit about trends (like me for example) but the rest are being sucked into the whole notion of being herded. It's a generation of people who don't use their god given brains much, sadly.

Although I am a part of this generation - statistically - I refuse to be goaded into a trend and I refuse to be part of the Boomerang Generation. SUCK ON THIS, BITCH!

So it turns out that I am not the only one the universe is repeatedly stabbing at. Bloghopping means you find another x-number of people who are being poked repeatedly by the fat fingers of the universe.

Fat. Universal. Fingers.

HA!

I went on a snickerdoodle yelling match on the sekret blog though I don't think 'yelling' would be the approriate noun... More like a flurry of typing... Angry flurry of typing and a barrage of onometopoaeic (had to google that one...) outbursts of 'blaargh's and 'sajsgdkhfjkgjdsgdh's.

How fitting.

Life tires someone who's head never shuts up. The constant flurry of thought from the moment I open my eyes in the morning until the time I lay my head to sleep at night. It promotes my already distinct ire and cynicism towards the human condition. How easily one is misdirected, how much easier one is judged by ones looks, behaviour or the clothes one wears. It's even worse when the world expects you to be what is portrayed by the media. Those select few who choose to be the wolves amongst a sea of sheep are hardly spared the open end of a shotgun.

Fire! Shoot down the wolves who threaten the very existence of a media based, government controlled environment. Gun them all down mercilessly.

They gag me, tie me up. The poetry one calls life brings less and less meaning as years go by. It's mustard gas for the psyche.

I sit and think of how much easier my life would be if I had just followed the flock into greener pastures. Conformed to the whims of everyone, everything. Be just another face in the crowd. Then the thought escapes me as I remember how much the Plastics irk me.

Hang on a second, I just coughed a bit and in the process bit the inner part of my left cheek. Owwie-owww...

I'm also wondering why, in my second trimester, floating around in the yucky bits of my mom's uterus, I didn't get a copy of my life's script. It's either that or I hadn't bothered to read it. Surely it's the former and not the latter as I assure you I would've read the damned thing and probably would have an inkling as to what I'm supposed to be doing on this blasted plane. It seems as though Theinvisiblemaninthesky is just pulling my strings.

I had asked Theinvisiblemaninthesky one too many times what he wanted with me, why I was put here on this delightable planet, why I was even in an ever brooding existance... All I got as feedback was rain or silence. Most of the time silence.

To say that one has had enough of life is a lie. I am not afraid of death nor do I think about anything in particular when the word pops up but I don't think now would be a good time to kick the proverbial bucket as I have too much to do left. It's a shame, still.

I think I need a hug.

Of funerals and... Well, just funerals.

Two very large A-List celebs kicked the proverbial bucket yesterday. Wacko Jacko left us via a heart attack and Farrah Fawcett via cancer-oh-teh-horror.

I *cough* mourn *cough* for these two whom I've never met in person nor have I a heart-felt conversation/heated arguement with. I *cough* cry *cough* at the loss of these two people who have never impacted any decision I've made. I am struck with *cough* so much sorrow*cough* that these two iconic figures would never be there for my graduation/wedding/childbirth/alien abduction/and so on.

I know I'm an insensitive prick but this from a person who wants "Haha, you're dead" by Greenday to be played on my funeral... Yes, death doesn't scare me.

Upon my death, I'm prolly going straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Silver lining: After hell, I'd be chillin with the Boods, Jesus, Jesus, Mo, Cthulhu and The Spag.

Oh, yea and the Almighty will be pumpin some mighty tunes from his speakers of Awesome.

Shout-out to Ma Therese and Ghands. Whoop-whoop~

MSN Excerpt...

Me:
*trust me to be the eternal cynic about it too
*the minute I stepped into class... I was making fun of it already

A:
*u are more cynical than me
*hhahaha

Me:
*"the white peoples lost another white brotha today. It's a sad day for white peepuls"
*"Oh and FF died from anal cancer."

A:
*yep
*that was expected
*dia dah lama dah ade cancer
*oh u're making fun of it
*lol

Me:
*"Well dad says MJ died of heart attack... prolly cos his nose kept on falling off his heart was all like 'wtf that's it!'"

A:
*hahaha
*jahat!

Me:
*yea well if plastic peepuls can make fun of my butt and how i walk
*i'll goddamn make fun of their deities.

It offends me so much when random shits who have some small disability come up to you and ask for some kind of donation.

Yes, I know what you're all thinking, 'Oh but he's cacat/handicap/disabled/differently abled/not able/insert whatever you want',

I'M FUCKIN' DISABLED HORAIT BUT I HAVE THE COMMON DECENCY TO NOT BEG LIKE A DOG!

Look, if one can comprehend the words that come out of a potential employer's mouth and don't have an IQ below average one can FUCKING WORK LIKE EVERY OTHER PERSON.

BEGGING is not the answer, goddamnit!

I mean It's okay if you're clinically retarded but COME ON! People with no arms can make handicrafts, some dude with less than normal limbs can fix fucking bikes for a living for chrissakes!

Malays are the target audience. I don't know if one is educated or not one has no fucking right to ask for donations. Is there a problem when it comes to getting off ones LAZY ARSE to write a goddamn resume or go to a fucking cheap polytech and eventually get some work? Shit, if life were about begging... *continues unabashedly*

There is Braille. There is sign language. There are mediums which those who cannot speak, see or hear can depend on! That's why it's THERE!

Go on, crowd of pitchforks and torches, I dare you to make an arguement.

Do it.

Fuckin' hell.