(@ Blackrope.blogspot)

Today my cousin quoted something most ridiculous.

She said that the guy conducting the Nikah* said as a wife you must always smile at your husband. When he walks in the room, you must smile. When he somethingsomethingsomething you must smile. If you don't smile, you go to hell. Then she said part of the Nikah procedure states that a man is allowed to beat his wife.

I have nothing but the utmost disdain for this. Nowhere in the Quran does it say these things. Safe to say that what the general populace is practicing is NOT Islam but some sick lovechild of the religions of pre Islamic Middle East.

* Nikah is part of a traditional Malay wedding and is followed with the Persandingan which is basically there to show off the bride and groom to the whole kampung as a declaration of 'hey, these two may now bump uglies without you tsk-ing them'.

Of funerals and... Well, just funerals.

Two very large A-List celebs kicked the proverbial bucket yesterday. Wacko Jacko left us via a heart attack and Farrah Fawcett via cancer-oh-teh-horror.

I *cough* mourn *cough* for these two whom I've never met in person nor have I a heart-felt conversation/heated arguement with. I *cough* cry *cough* at the loss of these two people who have never impacted any decision I've made. I am struck with *cough* so much sorrow*cough* that these two iconic figures would never be there for my graduation/wedding/childbirth/alien abduction/and so on.

I know I'm an insensitive prick but this from a person who wants "Haha, you're dead" by Greenday to be played on my funeral... Yes, death doesn't scare me.

Upon my death, I'm prolly going straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Silver lining: After hell, I'd be chillin with the Boods, Jesus, Jesus, Mo, Cthulhu and The Spag.

Oh, yea and the Almighty will be pumpin some mighty tunes from his speakers of Awesome.

Shout-out to Ma Therese and Ghands. Whoop-whoop~

MSN Excerpt...

Me:
*trust me to be the eternal cynic about it too
*the minute I stepped into class... I was making fun of it already

A:
*u are more cynical than me
*hhahaha

Me:
*"the white peoples lost another white brotha today. It's a sad day for white peepuls"
*"Oh and FF died from anal cancer."

A:
*yep
*that was expected
*dia dah lama dah ade cancer
*oh u're making fun of it
*lol

Me:
*"Well dad says MJ died of heart attack... prolly cos his nose kept on falling off his heart was all like 'wtf that's it!'"

A:
*hahaha
*jahat!

Me:
*yea well if plastic peepuls can make fun of my butt and how i walk
*i'll goddamn make fun of their deities.

4-years is just gonna have to suck it up cos I am going hunting.

This calls for a 'bruahaha...' so BRUAAHAHAHAHAHA...

Also, The InvisibleManInTheSky forgot to endow me with anti-slip.

I fell on my chair.

Then I fell OFF my chair.

Juneseybunesy couldn't stop laughing.

I love my friends, srsly.

Add on:

CUFFLINKS GALORE~!!!

Who knows why I'm so deeply into the world of the occult. Surely my religion had classified it as Syirk.

Are 'syirk' and 'blaspheme' the same thing cos according to wikimalay 'syirk' is 'blaspheme'.

I reiterate my going to the land of brimstone and the-floor-is-always-LAVAAAA! On the other hand, I'm pretty sure the rest of *cough* humanity *cough* wouldn't get a Go-To-Heaven-Free pass anyway. We all pop into the eternal oven first unless one died at birth...

Also... I should start work.

Oh and by the way,

I Don't Wan't To Get Married

A student called Catherine Isaboke wrote it but hahahaha *cough* hahahaha *cough* ha *BARF* what a load of crap.

Updates on the trip:

(Attn: Pansy, Danny, Junes)

1. Bubbles Resort has confirmed that they have places for us to lodge for 3 nights

• I have sent them an e-mail for the details to get a price quote for the duration, you may commence with the preliminary 'squeee'.

2. I called up Sunny Travels and they said an e-mail from Abdul Chalet will arrive tomorrow-ish.

• I hope they don't give me a tonne of bullshit. I cannot stand tardy tonnes of bullshit. If there is bullshit, make it fast.
• I also hope there's lodging, kind of.

I kinda want to go to Bubbles 'cos Peisee and the lot are superawesome people, plus the house reef is the shizz. And did I mention the peoples are the shizz?

(!!) Baby love for Kai Jin, lovechild of Peisee and Ronnie.

Anyhoots, Junee got her mom's car for the duration of the trip and she and the boys are taking turns to drive.

I have to:

- Do my Cafe report for M&F by Tuesday

- Do bubble diagrams and concepts for DS1 by Wednesday

- Do elevations and mock prints for ACAD 2D by tomorrow

- Do more lagged pieces for PD2 jesuschristsuperstarboodsmoandcthulhu.

I talk to God on a daily basis. I don't do the 5 times a day thing but I do look to random directions and shout out copious amounts of thanks and the occasional obsceneties.

I do love God, but what plans has God for me anyway?

ponderif

If God/Invisible Man In The Sky/Cthulhu/Jesus/Allah/Buddha/Joe Pesci asked me what I did with my life I'd ask Him what He made me for...

Then I'd ask Him what the purpose of being human was (Assuming that I'm 6 feet under and happily having my flesh eaten by bacteria, fungus and earthworms) and for the grand finale in the delightful method of blaspheming so nonchalantly: Why we must worship him.

Post questions to the Omni-Everything, down I go to fire and brimstone having a barbeque with my own carcass. Can I get a 'Hell yea?' Perhaps that was a little too disturbing...

CLEAN SLATE!!! MY KINGDOM FOR A CLEAN SLATE!!!!