MOVIES!

Movies I watched in lists of Loved, Liked, So-So and Hated. This list will be ever expanding so keep a lookout! 
Nothing is in order.

Loved

1. A Clockwork Orange
2. Monty Python and The Holy Grail
3. Monty Python's Life Of Brian
4. 300
5. Robin Hood: Men In Tights
6. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
7. Dreamcatcher
8. History Of The World: Part 1
9. SpaceBalls
10. Star Wars 1: The Phantom Menace
11. Star Wars 2: Attack of the Clones
12. Star Wars 3: Revenge of the Sith
13. Star Wars 4: A New Hope
14. Star Wars 5: The Empire Strikes Back
15. Star Wars 6: Return of the Jedi
16. Amelie
17. Without A Paddle
18. The Sweetest Thing
19. Chocolat
20. Ice Age 1
21. Ice Age 2
22. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
23. La Haine
24. Thank You For Smoking
25. Dancer In The Dark
26. Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
27. Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey
28. The Lost World: Jurassic Park
29. Jurassic Park
30. Jurassic Park 3: Extinction
31. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
32. Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
33. Better Than Chocolate
34. Beaches
35. Dogma
36. Cinema Paradiso
37. Dracula: Dead and Loving It
38. Fight Club
39. Goodfellas
40. Heat
41. Into The Wild
42. The Virgin Suicides
43. Moulin Rouge
44. Y Tu Mama Tambien
45. Underworld
46. Underworld: Evolution
47. Pulp Fiction
48. Requiem for a Dream
49. Penelope
50. The Big Lebowski
51. Tank Girl
52. Undercover Brother
53. Trainspotting
54. Who Framed Roger Rabbit
55. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
56. The Kite Runner
57. Shrek 1
58. Shrek 2
59. The Little Mermaid by Disney
60. Coming To America
61. Powder
62. Borat
63. Austin Powers: Goldmember
64. 10 Things I Hate About You
65. John Carpenter's The Thing (1982)
66. Jojo Rabbit (2019)
67. Demon Knight
68. A Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou
69. Sense and Sensibility
70. Something's Gotta Give
71. Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
72. Crash
73. The Secret WIndow
74. Children on Men
75. Horton Hears A Who
76. Hannibal
77. Godzilla
78. James and the Giant Peach
79. Edward Scissorhands
80. Big Fish
81. The Motorcycle Diaries
82. Pan's Labyrinth
83. Freddy Vs Jason
84. Alien
85. Aliens
86. Alien 3
87. Alien: Resurrection
88. Bandidas (2006)
89. Predator 1
90. Predator 2
91. Eurotrip
92. Frida
93. Osmosis Jones
94. Scarface
95. Jay and Silent Bob
96. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
97. Jay and Silent Bob: Reboot
98. Clerks 1
99. Clerks 2
100. Blues Brothers
101. He's Just Not That Into You
102. To Wong Foo: Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar
103. Mean Girls (2004)
104. The Family Stone (2005)
105. Hocus Pocus (1993)
106. Everything, Everywhere, All At Once
107. Dune Part 1
108. Dune Part 2

Liked

1. Saw 4
2. Ghostbusters 1
3. Ghostbusters 2
4. Monster
5. How Stella Got Her Groove Back
6. Real Women Have Curves
7. Head of State
8. Back to the Future 1
9. Back to the Future 2
10. Back to the Future 3
11. The First Wives Club
12. Across The Universe
13. Surviving Picasso
14. The Royal Tenenbaums
15. Beverly Hills Cop 1
16. Beverly Hills Cop 2
17. Surf's Up
18. Once Upon A Time In Mexico
19. Sweeny Todd
20. Police Academy, all
21. S1m0ne
22. Laws of Attraction (2004)
23. Halloween
24. Mr. Deeds
25. George of the Jungle 1
26. George of the Jungle 2
27. The Virgin Suicides
28. Shaun of the Dead
29. Charlotte's Web
30. Mona Lisa's Smile
31. Stuart Little
32. Snatch
33. Home on the Range
34. Evolution
35. Sin City
36. Titan AE
37. Feast Of Love
38. 40 Days and 40 Nights
39. 30 Days of Night
40. Resident Evil
41. Mallrats
42. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
43. Monty Python and The Meaning Of Life
44. Ghost World
45. The Forgotten
46. Hitler: Rise of Evil
47. Penelope
48. Scary Movie 1
49. Scary Movie 2
50. The Full Monty
51. Batman, with Val Kilmer
52. Bethoven
53. James Bond, pre Daniel Craig
54. Sleepy Hollow
55. The Chronicles of Riddick
56. The Witches of Eastwick
57. Be Kind, Rewind
58. Showtime
59. The Witches
60. Rat Race
61. Kill Bill 1
62. Kill Bill 2
63. A League of Extraordinary Gentleman
64. Disney's Hercules
65. The Family Stone
66. Spawn
67. Mystery Men
68. Baby's Day Out
69. The Hot Chick
70. Stomp The Yard
71. The Addam's Family
72. Addam's Family Values
73. Madagascar
74. Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa
75. Tropic Thunder
76. There's Something About Mary
77. Ocean's 11
78. Shanghai Noon
79. Shanghai Knights
80. Corpse Bride
81. Beetle Juice
82. Intolerable Cruelty
83. Anger Management
84. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
85. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
86. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
87. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
88. The Brothers Grimm
89. Stuck On You
90. The Longerst Yard
91. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
92. Anchorman
94. Happy Gilmore
95. Billy Madison
96. Chasing Amy
97. Zack and Miri Make A Porno
98. House Guest
99. Juno
100. 21
101. The Love Guru
102. The Saint
103. Mona Lisa's Smile
104. About Schmidt
105. 40 Year Old Virgin

So-So

1. Sweeny Todd
2. The Village
3. It's A Bugs Life
4. Steven King's IT
5. Zoolander
6. You, Me and Dupree
7. Antz
8. Lost in Translation
9. The Mirror Has Two Faces
10. Ed Wood
11. Blades of Glory
12. The Heartbreak Kid
13. Wild Wild West
14. The Incredibles
15. Ocean's 12
16. Ocean's 13
17. Dudley Do-Right
18. Sister Act
19. Men In Black
20. Men In Black 2:
21. Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit
22. Syriana
23. Armageddon
24. The Mists of Avalon
25. Merlin's Apprentice
26. Because I Said So
27. Alien Vs Predator
28. Loser
29. The Incredible Hulk, with Eric Bana
30. Spiderman, with Tobey McGuire
31. Mirror Mask
32. Kate and Leopold
33. Notting Hill
34. Terminator
35. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
36. Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
37. Bee Movie
38. The Princess Diaries
39. The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
40. Un Chien Andalou
41. Nutty Professor
42. Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps
43. Casper
44. Little Miss Sunshine
45. Valiant
46. Basic Instinct 2
47. The da Vinci Code
48. Original Sin
49. Scary Movie 3
50. Kaena: The Prophecy
51. Superman 1, with Christopher Reeve
52. Superman 2, with Christopher Reeve
53. Superman 3, with Christopher Reeve
54. The Bodyguard
55. Keeping Mum
56. Shrek the Third
57. Daddy Day Care
58. Mulan
59. Dr. DoLittle
60. Meet The Fockers
61. Jack Frost
62. Dodgeball
63. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
64. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
65. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
66. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
67. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
68. Wedding Crashers
69. Fun with Dick and Jane
70. Mars Attacks!
71. My Super Ex-Girlfriend
72. Legally Blonde
73. Legally Blonde 2: Red, White and Blonde
74. Blue Streak
75. X-Files The Movie
76. A Lot Like Love
77. What Planet Are You From?
78. You've Got Mail
79. Starsky and Hutch
80. Along Came Polly
81. Meet The Parents
82. Spongebob Squarepants The Movie
83. Happy Feet

Hated

1. Cars
2. The Cat In The Hat
3. Fun with Dick and Jane
4. Alvin and the Chipmunks
5. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle
6. Simpsons The Movie
7. Garfield
8. X-Men
9. X2
10. X-Men 3: The Last Stand
11. Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties
12. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
13. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
14. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
15. The Cable Guy
16. Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe
17. The Blob
18. Night at the Museum
19. The Game Plan
20. Les Miserables
21. Pride and Prejudice (2005)
22. Wishmaster
23. Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies
24. Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell
25. Wishmaster 4: The Prophecy Fulfilled
26. Alien Vs Predator 2: Requiem
27. The Medallion
28. Vampire In Brooklyn
29. The Haunted Mansion
30. Caligula
31. Titanic
32. The Notebook
33. Adventures of Pluto Nash
34. Wild Child
35. Freaky Friday
36. Scary Movie 4
37. A Cinderella Story
38. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
39. War of the Worlds
40. Superhero Movie
41. Epic Movie
42. Dark Water

Personal Project: SP4 Screen Fix

We all know the Surface Pro 4 has that stupid screen jitter problem and apparently it's all because of the screen being sub-optimal. I found a blog that explains how to remedy the screen jitters by replacing the screen outright with a Surface Pro 5 screen!

Here are some links of importance:
The original link:
https://www.most-useful.com/screen-flickering-on-surface-pro-4-solved-permanently/

How to disassemble a SP4:


Remove the screen:

Battery (3:19) and thermal paste (14:41) replacement:


Costing?

Thermal Paste, Noctua NT-H1 = RM29
New Batteries - RM289 (Laptop Parts Shop)

• https://shopee.com.my/Surface-Pro-4-DYNR01-G3HTA027H-Original-Battery-i.31696755.2881481652

SP5 Screen = RM600 - 850

• https://www.aliexpress.com/item/32868584299.html?spm=2114.12010612.8148356.10.d62221b7fdBNF7
• https://shopee.com.my/For-Microsoft-Surface-Pro-5-1796-LP123WQ1(SP)(A2)-LCD-Screen-touch-digitizer-i.45386143.2062091369
• https://shopee.com.my/Surface-Pro-5-LCD-Display-Touch-Screen-Digitizer-Replacement-i.31696755.2251003333

SP5 Screen to SP4 Cables, M1010537-003 LVDS cable = RM40 - 82.34

• https://www.aliexpress.com/item/4000297321765.html
• https://shopee.com.my/New-Laptop-EDP-Cable-for-surface-PRO-4-1796-M1010537-003-LVDS-cable-i.120035955.1853049867

Optional: Bigger SSD?

WebShop Links:
Laptop Parts Shop

• https://shopee.com.my/laptopparts

Top Mac Store

• https://www.aliexpress.com/store/1494363?spm=a2g0o.detail.1000002.2.b3033f68Dqzs3f

TBC

Tao of Sha

Technically it's sort of a Manifesto.

Technically.

1. Laugh.
Surround yourself with people and things that make your heart feel so full that you need to express it in various degrees of movement and sounds -- sometimes the quiet ones are the best.

2. Eat, Drink.
If you can, try and have a taste of everything. Nothing brings you closer and tells you more about a community then what sustains them daily.

3. Play.
Never ever forget what playing feels like. Life is a game, you lose when you willingly stop playing.

4. Listen.
When you stop talking, that's when most of the magic happens. Everything around you will impart to you a lesson.

5. Throw Your Judgements Out The Window.
Yes, defenestrate that which keeps your mind shut to people not of your own, experiences outside your own, objects away from their common use.

6. McGuyvering.
I didn't know 'McGuyver' could be a verb until I was in my first year in design school. In a pinch, you can always find some way to complete a task, it doesn't have to be beautiful, it just has to work.

7. Make friends.
People always underestimate the importance of a vast community that you have curated and made significant efforts in maintaining. These wonderful people will be the net that brings you a wealth of ideas, knowledge, expertise, and sometimes even time.

8. Relax.
There's no such thing as doing nothing. Even when you're resting you're allowing your mind and body to consolidate it's daily experience and do maintenance on itself so that you can function properly later.

tbc.

2019 / 30 Day Project

Hello, twenty-nineteen!

I've delayed doing this post due to social obligations and, my word, it's been an absolutely CRAZY December/Early Jan. One week in and I've already spent too much.

I looked at photos from previous years and count the years of friendships I still keep dear to me and realise that life is pretty great. Things aren't always on when it comes to money matters because of the whole disability+job thing but I'll make it work, I always do.

A series of random new year brainfarts commences.

• I saw photos of married people, some with kids, celebrating their new year and it looks so... terrifying. 
• People are really afraid of death. I have planned for it.
• Did you know catheters have a tap attachment and it's actually better than a bag since it maintains bladder elasticity?
• 2019 has buckets of change. BRING. IT.
• Konmari is legit. Gotta get rid of shit in my room.
• Travelling is happeningggg...

I have finally figured out what my 30-day project is: Producing a series of artworks to be turned into lapel pins.

Processes, perhaps this shall be vlogged and curated and I can finally do patreon related stuff. Maybe an annual Patreon to-do projects with giveaways.

Pin categories and subcategories, maybe like 3 subcategories with five pins each?
Sketches, illustrator file, colour proofing.
Approaching manufacturers and everything else can happen after the 30 days.

Anyone wants to gift me a pantone colour swatch guide? 😬 I could definitely use one of those.

A Reminder To Myself: 10 Commandments of Rational Debate

A lot of people don't know how to argue properly and get really emotional.

This is also a reminder for me to argue better.

31 from 31

I turned 31 a few weeks ago. It was nice.

I had food and hangouts with the favourite people. But I completely forgot about doing a birthday note. So here's 31 wishes from a 31 year old.

1. May your health be sterling and take you for as long as you want to go.
2. May your joys be experienced often to remind you that life is worth living even in the midst of your lows.
3. May your lows teach you how to cope and be grateful for things that you have.
4. May your happiness spread and let others bask in its warmth.
5. May you have in abundance that which you need.
6. May you not lack that which you want.
7. May the people you keep be the kind you can lean on and learn from.
8. May you be there for those who hold you in high regard.
9. May you be a source of knowledge and understanding.
10. May you be cherished and looked up to in your own way by the people you cherish and look up to.
11. May you have your accounts sorted and savings in place.
12. May you never be blindsided by any emergencies.
13. May you live to continuously enjoy cake, ice-cream and other sweets.
14. May you never be told to stop eating something you like for health reasons.
15. May you enjoy the different ways of eating and preparing a potato.
16. May you find a game that you don't mind spending hours on to wind down.
17. May you find gaming buddies that you can trust to do raids and fight bosses with on the regular.
18. May you have someone you hold dear to share experiences with.
19. May you bask in your ability to acquire many electronic goods to your heart's content.
20. May you find time and pocket to travel and expand your soul into every part of this world.
21. May your life not be stifled by the negativity of religion, politics, family or work.
22. Alternatively, may your life be enriched by the positivity of religion, politics, family or work.
23. May money come to you like an eternal well, you might have to work a bit to get that bucket up but know that it won't run dry.
24. May you be blessed with the ability to multi-task and delegate like the champion you are.
25. May you exercise and eat to keep your mind and body strong for yourself.
26. May you mentally keep yourself in check because mental health is important.
27. May you be as independent as you want to be and resolute when you need to be.
28. May you be blessed with the ability to know when to ask for help.
29. May you live your life as a positive impact to your community.
30. May you be remembered for generations by those whom you have assisted.
31. May you live well.

TEXT RP BLOG WHAT?!

I found my old Text RP blog for

https://limitless-forte.livejournal.com 

at 

https://xx145-mutate.livejournal.com/ 

Evidently, I can never access it anymore since I don't know which e-mail it's attached to. So now I'm collating all the data for this archive.

WHY AM I NOT THAT CREATIVE ANYMORE. Actually, I am. I wonder what happened to my teammates. Hmm...

Archives:
20th February 2008: https://limitless-forte.livejournal.com/56988.html#comments
29th February 2008: https://limitless-forte.livejournal.com/58418.html#comments
21st March 2008: https://limitless-forte.livejournal.com/63126.html#comments
30th March 2008: https://limitless-forte.livejournal.com/64572.html#comments

I think... that's about it. I like the premise of xx145, she's certainly got spunk and is my typical pretend drunk character brawler type person. Also, me at age 21 liked the RP. I mean... where was D&D at this time. Y I NOT KNOW?!

What Kind of Designer Are You

ANOTHER ONLINE TEST THINGY!
This time to determine roughly the kind of Designer I am.

What Kind of Designer Are You? -- Take the quiz here >>> https://whatkindofdesigner.com/design-types

Apparently, today I'm one with the Data Drivers.

Rough rundown:

UNDERSTANDING. Data Drivers:

D - DIVERGE, R - REAL, G - GROUP, M - MEASURE

Key traits:

You enjoy exploring lots of ideas

Your work helps to craft the final design

You like to work with others to discuss and refine ideas

You like decisions to be based on data or insight

Watch out for:

Is it time to stop looking for new ideas and make a decision?

Is there anything else that you could do to build confidence in your work?

Are you giving everyone enough time on their own to think things through?

Have you thought about the things that can’t easily be measured?

Similar Types:

Team Player, Fortune Teller, Experimenter, Party Animal

OPPOSITE OF DATA DRIVERS. Opposites Attract:

Brand Builder: Not everything that counts can be counted. Right?

Quite Interesting.

TIL

Today I learnt that there's such a thing as Absurdism and it's very different from Nihilism...

And then, reading through articles made me realise I'm less of a Nihilist and more of an Absurdist because...

There's no real meaning to life but I try to live as well as I can and be a benefit to my society.

I feel I need to be more serious about dumping all the shiney trinkets and articles I find on the internet into this here blog. Here's a start.

This is a link for an article titled how to be an anticapitalist:

http://www.jacobinmag.com/2015/12/erik-olin-wright-real-utopias-anticapitalism-democracy/

It's a really good article, long read but well worth it.

LITANY AGAINST FEAR

"I must not fear.

Fear is the mind-killer.

Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain."

-- Frank Herbert

Slowly rewatching all of the visual stuff for Frank Herbert's Dune before reading the main book.
No, I haven't read the book...
We'll see if I want to read the books that follow.

Found a thing on the internet that was interesting to read. Mayan Calendar and Zodiacs.

My write up is here. and I have no idea how it works. Will do more reading soon.
Also, I tested it on other sites as well and all answers popped up the same. No discrepancies.

How it works, apparently, is that I have a main sign called a Day sign, A Galactic Tone, and The Trecana Sign and finally, your Tree of Life.

Day Sign: Cauac (Rain)

Sometimes also called Storm. I guess ribut bila rasa hati berserabai? hahahaha...

Galactic Tone: Bolon (9)

What I find interesting is how this mirrors my Chinese life path (which is also 9) They really like doing math the same way. Add all the numbers until you only have one number remaining? THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!

Trecana Sign: Monkey

This is apparently my tree of life -- Which is funny given many cultures have a version of 'The Tree of Life'. I ain't complainin' -- Past: Monkey ; Destiny: Deer ; Female: Serpent ; Male: Cane

They all pretty much point me in the same direction as the rest of the hoobiegoobiespiritual life stuff.

Natural leader, healer, life of the party when I wanna be, Monster when I don't get what I want. Levelheaded monarch lel.

What else is new? *shrugs*

Note to self.

Community Creation through writing
- Write about your experiences, interactions with people, interactions with space.
- Keep writing to 5 minutes... cos that's about the amount of time for people to ramble and still be interesting.
- Videos are good (because people have short attention spans)

Dear me, in relation to the above topic.
You know all this. You ask anyway. Why?
Because you are lazy. Itu sahaja.

Also...
It suddenly occurred to me that I can be a mystery hotel shopper.
Who specialises in disability access.
Why have I not thought about this before?
How do I get into this?
TELL ME NIAUUU...

Malaysia is a weird country.
We do everything to protect disabled children and try to let them grow healthy and strong and smart.
BUT once they are grown they aren't allowed the ability to find work they want in the companies that have accepted them BECAUSE these companies aren't accessible and don't have disabled friendly facilities.
They aren't allowed to be independent BECAUSE everything around them wasn't made to allow them to do things themselves.
So how then, you've raised a disabled child to believe in themselves but society hasn't fought enough for equal rights to life and living because adults aren't as important as children.

When I think of this, I come to a conclusion that you should have let us die.

Also,
I just found out that Malaysia is a State signatory of the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities which I find interesting because nothing is done to follow this pun.

Also, someone wrote an entire Journal on Employment of PWD in Malaysia: Drivers and Inhibitors and it looks like there's more inhibitors than there are drivers.

________________________________
Today we talk about mobility devices that have allowed PWDs to explore terrains in non-conventional wheelchairs.

http://www.delichon.uk/shop/hippocampe/beach-wheelchairs

I'm in a writing mood tonight, hesitant to do work and yet, the files are all open, reference folders splayed out. I'm just staring at the plans, coloured lines and all but my entire body aches from... something. This time, not ennui. I'm sure of it.

I'd ripped myself out of bed half an hour later than I was supposed to, groggy and in a mood, morning had snuck up on me too soon. With a harrumph, I'd put myself under a torrent of slightly cold water which got warmer the longer it went. I couldn't decide whether it was my skin getting used to the cold or the heater finally did its job, either way I was deeply disliking my unmet slumber.

I had to go to a mall for a meeting with an incredibly awesome woman who had sacrificed her Sunday for me. A nearly thirty, bright eyed, bushy-tailed upstart. Excited for the meeting, not excited to be in the bosom of capitalism. In response, I dressed down.

"If I'm going to do this, might as well pretend I'm going to the beach," I said to myself. "Really. A mall is the only safe place that's accessible and friendly for people with disabilities and yet I hate it."

- started talking about nantes, kismet and how we can work that into life
-3 goal branches in my life
- How funny is languages

Things I have learnt about me:

1. I may die of a heart attack when I get older... According to some BS research... *shrugs*

2. I don't like who I've been in any of my past romantic relationships and the thought of being involved makes me sick.

Today we're curating what I think are the best Gintama OSTs.

I've never been into Anime OSTs but the ones done for Gintama is really, really good! They're some very evocative, emotive and dynamic. It might just be why this show is addictive -- Also the gags are obviously 4th wall. We like it muchly.

All music is composed by Audio Highs and produced by Kamagata Eiichi. The Anime belongs to Hideaki Sorachi.

Audio Highs did good. So good.

We start with this... Sort of menacing-what-shappening-omg music
Gintama OST: 25 - Taigi wo Tousu Mae ni Manaa wo Touse Manaa wo


Man with an action plan, for sure. The kind of plan that may or may not involve explosions before winning.
Gintama OST: 27 - Temee Raa! Butta Kiru


Adventure time background music with a walking and doing stuff montage.
Gintama OST 2: 06 - Tabemono no Suki Kirai Ooi Nin

I think the majority of this song happens when it's a Madao arc. For a useless old man he has a pretty cool song.
Gintama OST 2: 31 - Jinsei wa Belt Conveyor no You

That snare emphasis though.
Gintama OST2: 35 - Ttaku Shikata nee naa, Ikuze!!

More thrash but this one sounds like you're chasing after something you've lost. There's a deep sense of panic in the notes.
Gintama OST 5: Kokujoutou No Ransen

More intense fight music
Gintama OST 5: 20 - Rokudenashi Futari

A lot of the 5th OST set is super intense. I had to refrain from posting them all here.
Gintama OST 5: 9 - Kono Kuni No Shokeu Nin

This one is mildly middle eastern
Gintama OST 5: 5 - Itoshisa To Setsunasa To Otokorashita To Onnarashita

Gamelan inspired
Gintama OST 5: 4 - Dekobokko Kyou

And the piece de resistance... This smug AF song is my ringtone. hahahahahaha
Gintama OST 5: 1 - Hazakasinagara Kaette Mairimashita

Okay dah.

Who Are You? Who-who, Who-who...

Who are you when no one is around?

"I am nothing and everything in it’s entirety"

- Martrice

I read this question on Quora last night and it's so incredibly interesting. Who AM I when I'm alone?
I'm the me-est me that ever could me, that's who.

Pajamas, binging on information, multitasking.
(Speaking of multitasking, I need a second screen)
Depending on who's in the house, calm and reserved or beyond paranoid that someone was going to barge into my room and try to have a conversation about something irrelevant while I'm trying to read, do work or watch something important.

I'm what society deems as callous, withdrawn, self-absorbed, ruthlessly autodidactic, nitpicky.
No airs and no walls around me because I'm not being judged.
I decide when and how I want to feel.
I smile when I want to, I cry when I want to.
I'm gross and contented. Happy, fat and lazy.
And in my pajamas.

BUT here's the kicker. I need to go hang out because I like socialising and being at home alone saps me of my energy and mirth, I'm extroverted. I need to go outside to remind myself why I don't like most humans.

Segue to...
Inspiration porn and why it's so difficult to explain it to people.
THIS PIECE was truly witty in trying to do just that and actually does a really good job!

Which brings me to why Inspiration porn is bad...
When one is afflicted with some kind of disability, one is constantly reminded that one is an inspiration to all simply because one has the outward appearance of super positivity. Therein lies he problem. Us disabled people have now been dehumanised because we CANNOT and MUST NOT complain because it makes the average person feel bad. boo-hoo.
I know it's easy to just tell us to try and open up now, as adults. Do you know how hard it is to change something hardwired in yourself to not do because everyone else gets sensitive when you get just a little bit emotionally negative? And they ask me why I'm dead inside, why I'm so cynical. Pft. It's because of all you special snowflakes.

Overall, I can safely say I'm still beyond pissed I can't work in an office of my choosing (who've accepted me prior and I had to reject) because they didn't have the facilities for disabled people.
Do you know how bad for your body it is to not be able to drink water because going to the bathroom is hell? I know, right? Who would've thought bathrooms were one of the most important things to humankind. BUT IT IS.

Walk the talk, Malaysians. You keep saying you're for inclusive environments but I haven't seen tangible progress!

While the 30 Day Video Game Challenge is happening, I think i should post something in the interim.

I have been invited to take part in a Design Leadership Program (DLP) but d.labs run by a former boss of mine. First week has been completed and there's so much left to do

Being a 4-week intensive, we were already given several tasks to do. Simple tasks like describing myself, my work, my past projects. The most interesting one was to Draw My Future.

It's based on the TEDtalk below.

Based on what Patti said...
What I drew looked like a 5th grader took a shit on an A3 paper.

BEHOLD, MY WORK OF ART!

(click image to read)

There we go. On the left we can see that I have gone back to my generally angry and dissatisfied ways. At least anger and dissatisfaction brings about change if I fight hard enough.

Tangent: During DLP last Saturday I had the most vivid case of deja vous. I had been there before. In my dream a long, long time ago. It was funny though because I was trying to explain a concept to my team but as I was explaining, the sense of being there before hit me so hard my explanation slowed down. I felt like I saw a ghost of what was.

On a side note, I want to talk about the current reveal for a treatment drug for SMA called Spinraza.
On one hand I'm absolutely elated. On the other hand, the price it's been given doesn't bode well for any one of us. Getting treatment with an orphan drug means that I have to probably be poor. Which sucks. We hope more drugs in the pipeline gets approved soon.

NEW 30 DAY CHALLENGE

NEW CHALLENGE!

For the next 30 days, starting now, I will post on Instagram (xposted to Twitter) the 30 Day Video Game Challenge!

When it's done, I shall post it all here in one massive post. HOHO!

Hello 2017

It's the turn of a new year and thank goodness for that. I'm done with 2016.

It wasn't a bad year for me (that was 2015) but it was for a lot of other people. For me, it was a year of preparing and planning. I did a lot of things in my personal projects folder and a few things in my actual paid work folder and I feel like it was okay.

Technically, being human, nothing is good enough so I think a set baseline of 'Just Okay' is... well... Just okay-ish.

"Forget about good. Good is a known quantity.

Good is what we all agree on.

Growth is not necessarily good.

Growth is an exploration of unlit recesses that may or may not yield to our research. As long as you stick to good you’ll never have real growth."

- Bruce Mau, An Incomplete Manifesto For Growth

Life isn't just about just-okays though. It's a continued exercise in self betterment.
I also realised I'm a potato Versatilist which is a less fancy and more approachable term for a Polymath. It also means I have interest ADHD.

It's been a long time since I had stayed in for New Year's Eve so this time it'll be an exercise in making a big, yearly to-do list.

The year ended with Brunch with a group of intellectuals. We ate, we drank, we laughed, we spoke, we swore.
The year ended with Thoughts as I read through articles that resonated with what was spoken with the intellectuals.
The year ended with Plans as I siphoned through my ideas and musings, as I remember how much I have missed cranial activity.
This year ended with realising that 2016 was a year of the body, the search for numbness..
This year is salvaged by me recognising the needs of my intellect first, my needs as a human being second, and the needs of humanity being third.
Next year will start as years start
Unabashedly, with wide eyes and bushy tails.
Next year will start.

In closing, the woman I want to be like is my grand aunt. She's Bawse.
You can read about her HERE